Death and Taxes

Well it's been a while since I decided to share my views with anyone but myself, as picking up a pen and scribbling down pages and pages at a time seems a lot easier than sitting here at this computer.

I have completed the training I chatted about earlier and have a really great term time job. BUT! I have also recently read Paul McKenna's Change your life in 7 days and must admit that while it's nothing I have not read elsewhere before, I did the exercises and listened to the CD and I rediscovered something about myself... I am not passionate about anything!



The old slogan that if you do something you love, you'll never really work is true - but what if - LIKE ME - there is nothing that sufficiently inspires you to greatness. I have made a list of the things that matter in my life and while they all revolve around my family and friends, there is nothing that I am passionate about. Having said that though, there is lots that I love, but nothing that I would consider myself passionate about. I love my children and thought that doing something in childcare would fill the hole. It hasn't! I then thought that working with special needs children would fill the hole and it hasn't, that doesn't mean however that I am sorry I work with special needs children, quite the contrary as I am amazed and inspired everyday by their perseverance and determination to do things you and I may take for granted. But I do sometimes feel that there is something missing.



I think the problem is that I really want to make a difference and sometimes it seems that I am just plodding along day to day and it's hard to make a difference just plodding.



I don't know if I have mentioned this before but I am a clairsentient, this means that I am very perceptive and intuitively know what people are feeling. I am also considerably empathetic, so I consulted my Angel Cards (not condoned by the church attend) for guidance as to my life purpose. The guidance I have been given is to take back my power, work with children or animals and definitely get closer to nature. Incidentally this was almost the same message I received when trying to decide whether to embark on my childcare training.



I have an idea that I could be an author, I enjoy writing and have loads and loads of stuff I have written, but am I passionate about the idea? No, would I sacrifice time and effort on writing a book? NO and I have 2 attempts on this computer right now to prove it.



I also have an idea that I would like to do bereavement counciling as I have worked in an old folks home where palliative care was given, I am also the parent of a deceased child and so could totally sympathise with other parents, my problem here is not whether I am prepared to sacrifice a year of my life (or 8 months at a push) to complete a course but where am I going to find the money for the course? And so back to square 1 because I am not going to sacrifice the small amount of time I have with my children to WORK another job to pay for a course that's going to take up a huge amount of time.

What I am really trying to say is.... "I wish everything was as certain as Death and Taxes."