I know that sometimes what I believe can seem a little dodgy and mixed up, but there is something I gain from going to a Christian church and being active within that church. As you may well know for over two months I have been suffering from recurring bronchitis. Essentially I have had pneumonia. I saw a new doctor and after two weeks of "rest" and antibiotics, the lung is now finally clear. I feel better than I have felt in a very long time and am actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow because I know that I will cope with a bunch of 9 year olds better than I have for a while. Anyway, todays message was about our worries, the burdens we carry. In my writing I refer to this as baggage.
Last night I had trouble sleeping and often when I can't sleep I remember all those people who have (to my mind) done me wrong, I lay awake for the thousandth time wondering what I would do if I ever got revenge. It's silly because I am the one loosing sleep, not them. So lo and behold I am stunned that the message in church today is aimed directly at me (not for the first time mind you).
Lay your burdens down, release them to me and rest. Rest and release my worries, this was the message I got from my doctor, I listened and I am cured. Surely then by the very virtue of my faith I should listen to God and lay my burdens down, if my Dr. can make me feel this good in two weeks and she a mere mortal, imagine how fabulous I can feel and what I can accomplish in releasing my burdens to our Creator.
Today's message was also very intimate based on the fact that our minister is swapping places with a minister from Christchurch, he said that he has been asked if he if afraid to go given the recent earthquakes, his answer he said was no, because he believes that he is going to be exactly where God needs him to be and perhaps it is an opportunity for that minister to come to us and rest. Lay his burdens down, put their worries and fears into the hands of Jesus, I guess that with all my searching it is this kind of faith that I am looking for. I want to be able to believe so wholeheartedly in something that I can lay my burdens down and rest knowing that I am safe secure in the hands of our Creator.
In light and love.
Sunday 27 February 2011
Wednesday 23 February 2011
Day 22 Month 2 - Thoughts and Prayers for Family and Friends
It is with great sorrow and relief that I write today. The Earthquakes in New Zealand have now eventually caused death and a number of people are waiting to be resuced from the rubble. Thank goodness my immediate family are in Aukland and on the other island. Unfortunately Rob's cousin Lara and her daughter are stuck in the thick of it. Lara managed to escape from her office and set to work helping to free a family from their second floor flat which was according to Lara is now a 1st floor flat. She is home today with her daughter and describes herself as scared.
Now this is a women who, like all great women, refuses to be a victim and takes control of her life. So for her to say that she is frightened certainly makes the magnitude of the event clear to me.
Even on the South Island the emotional distress is evident in FB status' and comments. So please join me in lighting a candle and praying that there will be fewer fatalies than expected and that in the very least all those missing will be found. If nothing else to bring those families some closure. Let us also pray for the country to have speedy recovery from the disaster. I will also be praying for all the people there and arriving to help rescue people from the rubble. I just simply believe that at times like these collective power of prayer brings resolution. So as I said prayer is now the MOST we can do and definately not the least we can do.
In light and love
Now this is a women who, like all great women, refuses to be a victim and takes control of her life. So for her to say that she is frightened certainly makes the magnitude of the event clear to me.
Even on the South Island the emotional distress is evident in FB status' and comments. So please join me in lighting a candle and praying that there will be fewer fatalies than expected and that in the very least all those missing will be found. If nothing else to bring those families some closure. Let us also pray for the country to have speedy recovery from the disaster. I will also be praying for all the people there and arriving to help rescue people from the rubble. I just simply believe that at times like these collective power of prayer brings resolution. So as I said prayer is now the MOST we can do and definately not the least we can do.
In light and love
Tuesday 22 February 2011
Day 22 Month 2 - Is there no doubt?
Last night I invited my best friend for dinner with her family, it's convenient because her middle son is K's best friend, actually this family has become like my family since all my family is in SA. We got to talking about religion as we all very active within our church.
When asked what I believe in, I had to admit some of what I believe is not what is taught in the mainstream, and may offend a few people. However we discussed things like faith, intuition, angels etc.
I have a great affinity with angels and use their guidance regularly, I do this using angel cards. These are used more as a prompt for me to give you assistance. The reason for this is obvious, I do not have enough faith in myself, and it was this message that I got from my friends, they too struggle with what is considered correct in religion. I brought out my cards and had I transfer his energy into the cards, touching them shuffling them etc, then I said that I believe we are all intuitive and have learned to ignore or discount those "gut" feelings. I got him to put out three cards. The cards could not have been more accurate had I deliberately set it up. The angels proved once again that they are with us and around us simply waiting for us to ask them for help.
It was a great evening and it was lovely to learn a little more about how someone else believes.
Again just another thing re-inforcing the direction of my writing.
In love and light.
When asked what I believe in, I had to admit some of what I believe is not what is taught in the mainstream, and may offend a few people. However we discussed things like faith, intuition, angels etc.
I have a great affinity with angels and use their guidance regularly, I do this using angel cards. These are used more as a prompt for me to give you assistance. The reason for this is obvious, I do not have enough faith in myself, and it was this message that I got from my friends, they too struggle with what is considered correct in religion. I brought out my cards and had I transfer his energy into the cards, touching them shuffling them etc, then I said that I believe we are all intuitive and have learned to ignore or discount those "gut" feelings. I got him to put out three cards. The cards could not have been more accurate had I deliberately set it up. The angels proved once again that they are with us and around us simply waiting for us to ask them for help.
It was a great evening and it was lovely to learn a little more about how someone else believes.
Again just another thing re-inforcing the direction of my writing.
In love and light.
Saturday 19 February 2011
Day 19 Month 2 - Transendentalism
Transendentalism.
(Wiki Answers - 19 February 2011) " To Transcendent means to rise above the self, the ego & the mind to higher states of consciousness. Transcendentalism isnt a religion in itself but a logical & rational ideal that can be applied to religion itself. It seems to be a mix of literature, religion, culture and philosophy. Its main philosophy emphasizing the intuitive and spiritual above the material."
I have spent a lot of time reading and writing this week. The above is the most profound thing I have ever read. One of the main authors of Transendentalism is Ralph Waldo Emerson, now I have read quite a bit of his work, but had no idea that there was a name for his typpe of philisophy. On Thursday I sat in the library and usually my interest is in the spiritual. I was intuitively drawn to the philosophy section, ran my hands over a number of titles and simply "plucked" a book off the shelf.
I took it back to the little table I was working on and opened it without thought for what I was looking for. Scanning the text there were words like - Intuition and Metaphysical. I stopped, went back to the top of the page and read it slowly. It was a small introduction to Ralph Waldo Emerson and his philosophy. What a breakthrough in my research. I now have an exact direction in which to point my writing. I am sure that what I believe in is a mixture of many things and I there is a lot still to learn, but the fact that thousands of men have been feeling lost and finding direction in a similar manner to myself now give me even more hope that I can assist someone else, who can enjoy a sense of relief in knowing that others have overcome the same guilt over going against the normal teachings of todays society.
In love and light.
(Wiki Answers - 19 February 2011) " To Transcendent means to rise above the self, the ego & the mind to higher states of consciousness. Transcendentalism isnt a religion in itself but a logical & rational ideal that can be applied to religion itself. It seems to be a mix of literature, religion, culture and philosophy. Its main philosophy emphasizing the intuitive and spiritual above the material."
I have spent a lot of time reading and writing this week. The above is the most profound thing I have ever read. One of the main authors of Transendentalism is Ralph Waldo Emerson, now I have read quite a bit of his work, but had no idea that there was a name for his typpe of philisophy. On Thursday I sat in the library and usually my interest is in the spiritual. I was intuitively drawn to the philosophy section, ran my hands over a number of titles and simply "plucked" a book off the shelf.
I took it back to the little table I was working on and opened it without thought for what I was looking for. Scanning the text there were words like - Intuition and Metaphysical. I stopped, went back to the top of the page and read it slowly. It was a small introduction to Ralph Waldo Emerson and his philosophy. What a breakthrough in my research. I now have an exact direction in which to point my writing. I am sure that what I believe in is a mixture of many things and I there is a lot still to learn, but the fact that thousands of men have been feeling lost and finding direction in a similar manner to myself now give me even more hope that I can assist someone else, who can enjoy a sense of relief in knowing that others have overcome the same guilt over going against the normal teachings of todays society.
In love and light.
Wednesday 16 February 2011
Day16 Month 2 - Super Citizens
Every year for the 2 weeks before February half term,the school the kids attend does a "focus fortnight". The first year K was there the theme for the 2 weeks was Fitness. Last year the theme was Drama and Dance and this year it's "super Citizens".
Very apt since we are fairly newly sworn in as citizens of this fabulous country. Anyway the kids have had to help me with chores and they have had various visitors who are super citizens, the vets, a doctor, plumbers etc, etc. Today they had the local Beavers scout master in and the kids could wear their Beaver/ Scout/ rainbows/ guides uniforms. The reason I mention this is because regardless of the weather which let's face it is usually lousy, the Scout Master wears shorts. We have yet to actually see him in a pair of trousers with long legs. Before Christmas we went to Paulton's Park (for those of you abroad this is an amusement park geared pretty for children under 7 years and although they have some amazing rides for grown ups the bulk of the attractions are for the smaller ones), December was the coldest it has been here in something like 15 years and yes Beaver scout master was wearing his shorts.
If he wore long socks his uniform would look like those hideous safari suits that were all the rage in SA in the seventies, and still the preferred method of dress for most Free State farmers (or is Mpumalanga farmers).
Anyway just thought I'd share this amusing little bit of information and say that even without a card to prove to their teachers - my children are super citizens, and I love them more every day.
In love and light.
Very apt since we are fairly newly sworn in as citizens of this fabulous country. Anyway the kids have had to help me with chores and they have had various visitors who are super citizens, the vets, a doctor, plumbers etc, etc. Today they had the local Beavers scout master in and the kids could wear their Beaver/ Scout/ rainbows/ guides uniforms. The reason I mention this is because regardless of the weather which let's face it is usually lousy, the Scout Master wears shorts. We have yet to actually see him in a pair of trousers with long legs. Before Christmas we went to Paulton's Park (for those of you abroad this is an amusement park geared pretty for children under 7 years and although they have some amazing rides for grown ups the bulk of the attractions are for the smaller ones), December was the coldest it has been here in something like 15 years and yes Beaver scout master was wearing his shorts.
If he wore long socks his uniform would look like those hideous safari suits that were all the rage in SA in the seventies, and still the preferred method of dress for most Free State farmers (or is Mpumalanga farmers).
Anyway just thought I'd share this amusing little bit of information and say that even without a card to prove to their teachers - my children are super citizens, and I love them more every day.
In love and light.
Tuesday 15 February 2011
Day15 Month 2
Well I know I've been quiet for a little while, but I have been reading through all my writing and trying to decide what to keep and what to get rid of. I have also spent much of the day resting as prescribed by my Doctor and believe it or not started writing. I went to a coffee shop, with 10 stamps on my loyalty card decided to enjoy a lovely large latte gratis.
Not only did I sit and enjoy a coffee, but I also put pen to paper and began jotting down some more ideas, when I eventually lifted my head from the notebook it was just before 3pm and time to fetch the kids. I did not realise until I looked back that I had written four full pages. In proper sentences with notes to annotate, add, and check information.
I read that writing a book is a full time job, God it would be great if that's all I had to do (I think). It would also be great if 4 pages of written script became 4 pages of typed script, but unfortunatley no. Maybe that's the disheartening thing that keeps me from actually completing a book. Now you'd say "type it straight away". I'd have to say NO! The words seem flow more effortlessly from a pen onto paper than tapping my fingers on a keyboard. It's strange isn't it. The other reason I am going to say NO! is because I can see it in my writing when I've got excited about an idea, yes my writing changes the pressure of the pen adjusts on the page and I can see when an idea is something I am not sure of because the writing on the page itself seems hesitant, lighter than the rest and more spaced out. So I guess it's just about keeping going, reading and researching and writing. ( The 3 R's in my quest for completion.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
In love and light.
Not only did I sit and enjoy a coffee, but I also put pen to paper and began jotting down some more ideas, when I eventually lifted my head from the notebook it was just before 3pm and time to fetch the kids. I did not realise until I looked back that I had written four full pages. In proper sentences with notes to annotate, add, and check information.
I read that writing a book is a full time job, God it would be great if that's all I had to do (I think). It would also be great if 4 pages of written script became 4 pages of typed script, but unfortunatley no. Maybe that's the disheartening thing that keeps me from actually completing a book. Now you'd say "type it straight away". I'd have to say NO! The words seem flow more effortlessly from a pen onto paper than tapping my fingers on a keyboard. It's strange isn't it. The other reason I am going to say NO! is because I can see it in my writing when I've got excited about an idea, yes my writing changes the pressure of the pen adjusts on the page and I can see when an idea is something I am not sure of because the writing on the page itself seems hesitant, lighter than the rest and more spaced out. So I guess it's just about keeping going, reading and researching and writing. ( The 3 R's in my quest for completion.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
In love and light.
Saturday 12 February 2011
Day 12 Month 2
I have gathered together all my writing and I can't believe some of the crap I've written. I can see exactly how I was feeling and the efforts I've made to stay off medication for depression using positive thinking. I guess - while absolute nonsense sometimes, this in itself is a good thing because I know exactly how I felt and can capitalise on it for my writing. I have been given the next week off work due to my chest and think I'll use this time alone (at least while the kids are at school) to concentrate on writing something really special. On days when I feel this blog is particularly good I'm also going to post it in the comments Hay House, this is a publishing company that publishes self help books.
Louise Hay the founder of this company cured herself from cancer, and overcame abuse over most of her life. I love reading her books and if nothing else get yourself "You can heal your life". I think it was this book and "The power of positive thinking" that got me interested in and opened my eyes to the need there is for people who want to be better, to go to someone else or see something through someone elses eyes.
Just my thought for today.
In love and light
Louise Hay the founder of this company cured herself from cancer, and overcame abuse over most of her life. I love reading her books and if nothing else get yourself "You can heal your life". I think it was this book and "The power of positive thinking" that got me interested in and opened my eyes to the need there is for people who want to be better, to go to someone else or see something through someone elses eyes.
Just my thought for today.
In love and light
Friday 11 February 2011
Day 11 Month 2 - What I need. Continued
The Major difference between a wish list and a goals list is that wishes are never finite. Ideally what I want is to create a list that I can see my progress on. I once heard someone say that you should "keep your goals in concrete but the route to achieving them in the sand" or something like that. I am going to create a goals list that has an indefinate action to achievement and a final stead fast achievement date.
The problem with getting an idea like this is that I get all fired up and want to make a list and then the achievement dates are really unrealistic. I know that if I miss a deadline, I am going to get dispondent then loose interest, the other thing I need to worry about is that I don't over-extend the achievement dates and loose interest or get bored, knowing myself, like only I do, it's these things that usually keep me from achieving my goals.
I am going to jot down a few of the things I want to be.
1. I want to be a best selling author.
2. I want to be a great mother and wife.
Now what do I want to have?
1. Two happy, healthy children
2. A happy household in a lovely period style house where the family is happy and carefree
3. A million pounds in the bank.
Moving away from writing of the past I feel that I can elaborate on these goals.
A best selling author - time and time again, I have tried to keep my interest long enought to have a decent amount of writing, but thinking about it, if I transcribed all my writing into a document and then sort it out into some clarifying order, I probably have enough ink on paper to have a book, a best seller though? I guess someone else will have to be the judge of that.
A great mother and wife - no-one ever tells you what the responsibility of raising kids is really like. You only hear how wonderful they are, I must admit that I am really struggling with being a great mom, and I judge myself very harshly in this respect I worry about the emotional well being far more than their physical well being because let's face my kids have everything they need by way of clothes and food and toys and education, but what damage am I doing? I shout and say mean things sometimes and although quick to apologise and cuddle my children, in that moment where I am not thinking I am truely worried about screwing them up. On the wife front, however I have a marvelous husband who puts up with a lot of my nonsense and sticks around because as much as I do not believe it myself, he loves me.
Two happy, healthy children - I like to think - probably naively - that most of the time my children are happy and thank goodness they are very healthy. I am always truely amazed at their capacity to forgive and give unconditional love.
A happy household in a lovely preiod style house where the family is happy and carefree - This stems from a not so deep rooted resentment that we are still renting a house, I do not call it home because we have been unable to make it a home, we have not been allowed to put holes in the walls so we have been unable to hang any of the things we so dearly loved when we were in SA. Family photos, Robs autographed sports shirts, these took pride of place in every room in our home in Jhb. We are unable to have pets, hell we are not even allowed to paint over the colour of despair (a grey of some discription) in the entrance hall.
A million pounds in the bank - Wouldn't that just solve every single physical need/ issue? I know it's probably unrealistic but then that's my ego wondering where we'd get it from, and that proves that I really have no true belief in the power of the universe to deliver it. A million pounds in the bank though would not help me to emotionally support my children, with an instict to give them what they want to keep them physically happy, this amount of money will probably screw things up even more.
In love and light.
The problem with getting an idea like this is that I get all fired up and want to make a list and then the achievement dates are really unrealistic. I know that if I miss a deadline, I am going to get dispondent then loose interest, the other thing I need to worry about is that I don't over-extend the achievement dates and loose interest or get bored, knowing myself, like only I do, it's these things that usually keep me from achieving my goals.
I am going to jot down a few of the things I want to be.
1. I want to be a best selling author.
2. I want to be a great mother and wife.
Now what do I want to have?
1. Two happy, healthy children
2. A happy household in a lovely period style house where the family is happy and carefree
3. A million pounds in the bank.
Moving away from writing of the past I feel that I can elaborate on these goals.
A best selling author - time and time again, I have tried to keep my interest long enought to have a decent amount of writing, but thinking about it, if I transcribed all my writing into a document and then sort it out into some clarifying order, I probably have enough ink on paper to have a book, a best seller though? I guess someone else will have to be the judge of that.
A great mother and wife - no-one ever tells you what the responsibility of raising kids is really like. You only hear how wonderful they are, I must admit that I am really struggling with being a great mom, and I judge myself very harshly in this respect I worry about the emotional well being far more than their physical well being because let's face my kids have everything they need by way of clothes and food and toys and education, but what damage am I doing? I shout and say mean things sometimes and although quick to apologise and cuddle my children, in that moment where I am not thinking I am truely worried about screwing them up. On the wife front, however I have a marvelous husband who puts up with a lot of my nonsense and sticks around because as much as I do not believe it myself, he loves me.
Two happy, healthy children - I like to think - probably naively - that most of the time my children are happy and thank goodness they are very healthy. I am always truely amazed at their capacity to forgive and give unconditional love.
A happy household in a lovely preiod style house where the family is happy and carefree - This stems from a not so deep rooted resentment that we are still renting a house, I do not call it home because we have been unable to make it a home, we have not been allowed to put holes in the walls so we have been unable to hang any of the things we so dearly loved when we were in SA. Family photos, Robs autographed sports shirts, these took pride of place in every room in our home in Jhb. We are unable to have pets, hell we are not even allowed to paint over the colour of despair (a grey of some discription) in the entrance hall.
A million pounds in the bank - Wouldn't that just solve every single physical need/ issue? I know it's probably unrealistic but then that's my ego wondering where we'd get it from, and that proves that I really have no true belief in the power of the universe to deliver it. A million pounds in the bank though would not help me to emotionally support my children, with an instict to give them what they want to keep them physically happy, this amount of money will probably screw things up even more.
In love and light.
Thursday 10 February 2011
Day 10 Month 2 - What I need
I have had a rather down day, today I took the day off work and went to see the Doctor, this is not a new thing because since before Christmas I have been coughing. I had one bout of bronchitas and then another and after x-rays and sputum checks - which were normal - I have still been coughing, only now, I have no sense of smell and my ears hurt. The doctor today has told me that I have YET another bout of bronchitas and have been prescribed a third batch of anti-biotics.
So I asked the doctor am I feeling down and unable to cope because of the infection or is the infection not healing because I am feeling down and unable to cope. Honestly, they don't know and we will have to see how I feel after this batch of anti-biotics.
However feeling down is not something new to me and when I am down I seem to have remarkable moments of clarity, especially since I like to write things down. I have on this desk some writing, I have in my bag a book which periodically get's pulled out and scribbled in and in the car I have two books which have been written in, in times when I have simply had nothing better to do. I looked at a page that I wrote a while ago (no date on my writing) and I must have been reading one or other self help book at the time but this was written well before I read Paul McKenna. So let me share a snippet with you. Only because I usually feel down when the victim part of my ego rears it's ugly head and being in the imortal words of that crazy german songstress from Blazing Saddles "Tired of being so tired.".
What do I need to know right now to make my life and myself perfect?
This is a huge question and the answer is so complex that it's probably going to take me forever to answer it but here goes.
Wow, this really making me think long and hard because the first thing I did was ask myself what do I already know?
I am fairly well educated, and very well read, so I would consider myself quite intelligent, but there have been lots of successful people who are really not well educated nor well read, so what did they do in their lives to achieve success or at least what I feel is their achievement of success?
These days every life coach and inspirational speaker is saying that you can do, be or have everything you want in life. It seems then like a fair assumption that if I have everything I want, everything I want to do, have and be must be the answer to my initial question.
The answer then is not so complex, because then all I need to know is what do I want to do? What do I want to be? What do I want to have? So once I have all this information, I should be on my way to perfection. In simpler terms I am going to have to make a list, of things I want to do, be and have, and in true life coach style I am going to call it a goals list and not a wish list.
Join us again tomorrow for a gripping installment
In love and light.
So I asked the doctor am I feeling down and unable to cope because of the infection or is the infection not healing because I am feeling down and unable to cope. Honestly, they don't know and we will have to see how I feel after this batch of anti-biotics.
However feeling down is not something new to me and when I am down I seem to have remarkable moments of clarity, especially since I like to write things down. I have on this desk some writing, I have in my bag a book which periodically get's pulled out and scribbled in and in the car I have two books which have been written in, in times when I have simply had nothing better to do. I looked at a page that I wrote a while ago (no date on my writing) and I must have been reading one or other self help book at the time but this was written well before I read Paul McKenna. So let me share a snippet with you. Only because I usually feel down when the victim part of my ego rears it's ugly head and being in the imortal words of that crazy german songstress from Blazing Saddles "Tired of being so tired.".
What do I need to know right now to make my life and myself perfect?
This is a huge question and the answer is so complex that it's probably going to take me forever to answer it but here goes.
Wow, this really making me think long and hard because the first thing I did was ask myself what do I already know?
I am fairly well educated, and very well read, so I would consider myself quite intelligent, but there have been lots of successful people who are really not well educated nor well read, so what did they do in their lives to achieve success or at least what I feel is their achievement of success?
These days every life coach and inspirational speaker is saying that you can do, be or have everything you want in life. It seems then like a fair assumption that if I have everything I want, everything I want to do, have and be must be the answer to my initial question.
The answer then is not so complex, because then all I need to know is what do I want to do? What do I want to be? What do I want to have? So once I have all this information, I should be on my way to perfection. In simpler terms I am going to have to make a list, of things I want to do, be and have, and in true life coach style I am going to call it a goals list and not a wish list.
Join us again tomorrow for a gripping installment
In love and light.
Monday 7 February 2011
Day 7 Month 2 - a broken heart
Well, I am back, but unfortunately it is with a broken heart. For all my excitement and bragging about climbing the rock wall, I have found out today that it was far less than 20 metres high. In fact it was only about 8 metres high, I feel kind of deflated believe me it definately looked as high as 20 metres when I was hanging onto the knot for dear life at the top.
Is it right to judge oneself so harshly? I am still amazed at my accomplishment but feel it would be worth more had the wall been higher. I suppose this means that I am going to have to do it again. It's a bit like riding a roller coaster, the second time is worse because you anticipate the drops and sharp turns rather than letting them take you by surprise.
So the question today is why do some of us take things so badly while others are able to simply shrug their shoulders, smile and move on? I'm guessing it's got something to do with that damn ego. It's important for my ego that I be seen in a good light, saving face and apologising for the exaggeration.
Here goes.... I Tracey Brown do sincerely apologise for the misrepresentation of my accomplishment. Shit I still don't feel any better, but would feel infinately worse had one of you (who read my blog) actually commented on the fact that a 20 metre tall indoor rock climbing wall isn't likely to be found on school grounds.
In love and light.
Is it right to judge oneself so harshly? I am still amazed at my accomplishment but feel it would be worth more had the wall been higher. I suppose this means that I am going to have to do it again. It's a bit like riding a roller coaster, the second time is worse because you anticipate the drops and sharp turns rather than letting them take you by surprise.
So the question today is why do some of us take things so badly while others are able to simply shrug their shoulders, smile and move on? I'm guessing it's got something to do with that damn ego. It's important for my ego that I be seen in a good light, saving face and apologising for the exaggeration.
Here goes.... I Tracey Brown do sincerely apologise for the misrepresentation of my accomplishment. Shit I still don't feel any better, but would feel infinately worse had one of you (who read my blog) actually commented on the fact that a 20 metre tall indoor rock climbing wall isn't likely to be found on school grounds.
In love and light.
Thursday 3 February 2011
Day3 Month2 - Change
Following on from yesterday, I must tell you that quieting your mind should go along with accepting change. I know that I prefer everything to be done in a specific order and to a specific standard all the time. I am also very routinised, however working with children I know that they tend to thrive in a routinised environment, this however does not prepare them for the real world where as much as you try to predict what's happening and what's going to happen next, there is usually something that "throws a spanner in the works" or causes the proverbial "shit to hit the fan".
So how do we accept change? For some it's a process similar to mourning. You go through the denial, then you go through the anger and finally you get to acceptance. Having first hand knowledge of the grieving process I can tell you that this is usually a very selfish time, trying to come to terms with change is a selfish thing. Why? Well very simply because it is happening to you, and your EGO is very bruised. Here in the UK currently the government is trying to cut the deficit, there are thousands of people at risk and very unexpectedly the economy did not grow in December. These are now circumstances that those at risk as individuals cannot control.
Many of these people who properly prepare themselves will be able to move on quickly, while others may not, but when all is said and done and the grieving process is over, most if not all will be able to find something good that has come out of the change.
This is why I try to shift goal posts, and I try to stay out of a comfort zone, I have a quick temper and yet I have chosen to work in an environment where my language both verbal and non-verbal are to be kept in strict check all the time, this keeps me on my toes and more able to change. So my challenge for you today is to CHANGE something, don't quit your job (unless you have another one) but you know walk into a different supermarket, put your watch on the wrong arm, do something small to remind you how hard change can be and prepare yourself for change because one day it will happen to you and being ready to accept the change will make it so much easier to bear.
In love and light.
So how do we accept change? For some it's a process similar to mourning. You go through the denial, then you go through the anger and finally you get to acceptance. Having first hand knowledge of the grieving process I can tell you that this is usually a very selfish time, trying to come to terms with change is a selfish thing. Why? Well very simply because it is happening to you, and your EGO is very bruised. Here in the UK currently the government is trying to cut the deficit, there are thousands of people at risk and very unexpectedly the economy did not grow in December. These are now circumstances that those at risk as individuals cannot control.
Many of these people who properly prepare themselves will be able to move on quickly, while others may not, but when all is said and done and the grieving process is over, most if not all will be able to find something good that has come out of the change.
This is why I try to shift goal posts, and I try to stay out of a comfort zone, I have a quick temper and yet I have chosen to work in an environment where my language both verbal and non-verbal are to be kept in strict check all the time, this keeps me on my toes and more able to change. So my challenge for you today is to CHANGE something, don't quit your job (unless you have another one) but you know walk into a different supermarket, put your watch on the wrong arm, do something small to remind you how hard change can be and prepare yourself for change because one day it will happen to you and being ready to accept the change will make it so much easier to bear.
In love and light.
Wednesday 2 February 2011
Day2 Month2 - Ego-tism
Yesterday I spoke to my darling sister, she sounds so well and she is growing expenentially within her spirit. She always has something to tell me that is exciting and although we have some new age ideas, they are all based on God. For me it's the belief that we are all created in the image of our creator and therefore we are able to "create" as our creator did. This is most predominant in our ability to procreate. Scientists have yet to decipher or find that initial "spark" to life. They have been able to decode our DNA and they can put an egg and a sperm together but they can't say WHY life happens.
I attribute this to our being creators. The only reason we cannot manifest all the things we want is because we have also all been created with an ego, this is the part of ourselves which tells us we are not worthy to receive all the things we want. Everytime we have been hurt, the ego has taken over and caused us to build defences. These defences are built purely for the defence of the ego. The sad thing is that we have inherited our parents and their parents (and theirs and theirs and theirs etc etc) defences, these have taken us further and further away from our ability to create, this power is now hidden deep within our subconscious.
I challenge you today to meditate, quiet your mind and see how long it takes before that little voice pops up and says, the ironing basket is full. Eastenders is on the telly. Did I turn off the oven, or any one of a hundred thousand different things. I challenge you to quiet your mind, keep the ego at bay for as long as possible and if you can do that, you will reconnect with the creator within you. Who knows you may actually hear the voice of the original creator, or an answer to a question you've been worrying over.
Let me tell you that for all my talk, the longest I have been able to quiet my mind is 7 minutes. No wonder Enoch disappeared for years at a time. No wonder Moses was gone so long when he went to get the ten commandments. Enoch became and Archangel (one of only 2 humans to achieve this status) and Moses is entrenched into the best selling book of all time. So I ask you today, what might you achieve if you can keep you ego away for even for a small time. Let me tell you if nothing else, after that 7 minutes I felt rested and exillerated. Then people wonder why I want some ME time.
In love and light.
I attribute this to our being creators. The only reason we cannot manifest all the things we want is because we have also all been created with an ego, this is the part of ourselves which tells us we are not worthy to receive all the things we want. Everytime we have been hurt, the ego has taken over and caused us to build defences. These defences are built purely for the defence of the ego. The sad thing is that we have inherited our parents and their parents (and theirs and theirs and theirs etc etc) defences, these have taken us further and further away from our ability to create, this power is now hidden deep within our subconscious.
I challenge you today to meditate, quiet your mind and see how long it takes before that little voice pops up and says, the ironing basket is full. Eastenders is on the telly. Did I turn off the oven, or any one of a hundred thousand different things. I challenge you to quiet your mind, keep the ego at bay for as long as possible and if you can do that, you will reconnect with the creator within you. Who knows you may actually hear the voice of the original creator, or an answer to a question you've been worrying over.
Let me tell you that for all my talk, the longest I have been able to quiet my mind is 7 minutes. No wonder Enoch disappeared for years at a time. No wonder Moses was gone so long when he went to get the ten commandments. Enoch became and Archangel (one of only 2 humans to achieve this status) and Moses is entrenched into the best selling book of all time. So I ask you today, what might you achieve if you can keep you ego away for even for a small time. Let me tell you if nothing else, after that 7 minutes I felt rested and exillerated. Then people wonder why I want some ME time.
In love and light.
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