Hi All
I saw this quote and I started thinking, (my husband says I think too much). "You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are!" ~Eckhart Tolle
One problem, I do not know what my purpose is, yet.
I know I want to help people but how? I know I want to give back and I do, by helping out at church and working in a school. I have said many times that I wish I had a passion, and if only that passion was linked to my life purpose everything would fall into place.
I have been through so much and a number of very successful people have overcome adversity of some kind and helped thousands of people if not millions. I am reading Jack Canfields Chicken Soup for the Soul and it's full of stories of real people who have inspired others to do, be and have everything they want. It''s an awesome book and well worth the time it takes to read it.
Oh by the way I learnt something recently about myself and it's this. I am not and have never been a failure. What I am is a quitter. When things get tough I quit. I have never stuck with anything long enough to even risk failing. Instead I give up and walk away, it's been easier for me to quit than to risk failing.
The only problem with quitting is you never see the end result. I get really annoyed when celebrity role-models are idolised for drug abuse and other addictions. I always wonder what lessons our children are learning from them. Why then have I allowed my children to witness that I cannot see a project through to the end?
It's the same old double-standard at work isn't it? So today I am quitting for the last time. I am quitting being a quitter. I am going to re-read all my books and listen to all my CD's and I am going to talk the talk and walk the walk of someone who succeeds at whatever she does. I am going to risk failure rather than be a parent who shows her children that when the going gets tough, it's okay to walk away.
Having said that though I must admit my beautiful children are so resilient and have never shied away from a challenge. I know that by breaking this bad habit, I can only be a better parent, and saying that maybe my life purpose is only to ensure these two amazing souls achieve all their dreams and goals. But hey I am not about to quit trying to find out if this my only purpose in life.
So watch this space...
In love and light
Tracey
Friday 25 May 2012
Tuesday 8 May 2012
Let's learn to respond instead of react.
Hi All
Saw this quote on Twitter today it come from Oprah I think as it was from her as no one else was credited with saying it so...
"It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you. " I am a big one for reacting, I'm loud, I scream, I shout and I have been known to completely over-react to a small thing. Often leaving the situation more embarrassed by my reaction than the initial incident.
Ever feel like that?
So the one thing I often meditate on is being able to control my temper, I have to consciously make a decision not to react to a situation. The few times that I have managed to control this instinctive reaction is to think about how I would feel if I was on the other side of my mouth, listening to what's being said.
When you react to a situation it's often an immediate and personal response to the person and not the situation. Learning to respond rather than react is learning how to approach the situation from an objective perspective rather than a personal one.
Once you have had a chance to think about what is being said/ done and why it's being said and done in this manner, you can clearly formulate a response that will not leave you totally an utterly ashamed of yourself.
So if only for the sake of saving yourself loads of embarrassment (as it is for me), it's also actually very rewarding to come up with a reasonable response especially when you think the other person is being totally unreasonable.
Hey just a thought - use it, don't use it. At the end of the day it's about consciously controlling your voice in conjuction with the mind. Rather than your voice in conjuction with your foot.
In love and light
Tracey
Saw this quote on Twitter today it come from Oprah I think as it was from her as no one else was credited with saying it so...
"It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you. " I am a big one for reacting, I'm loud, I scream, I shout and I have been known to completely over-react to a small thing. Often leaving the situation more embarrassed by my reaction than the initial incident.
Ever feel like that?
So the one thing I often meditate on is being able to control my temper, I have to consciously make a decision not to react to a situation. The few times that I have managed to control this instinctive reaction is to think about how I would feel if I was on the other side of my mouth, listening to what's being said.
When you react to a situation it's often an immediate and personal response to the person and not the situation. Learning to respond rather than react is learning how to approach the situation from an objective perspective rather than a personal one.
Once you have had a chance to think about what is being said/ done and why it's being said and done in this manner, you can clearly formulate a response that will not leave you totally an utterly ashamed of yourself.
So if only for the sake of saving yourself loads of embarrassment (as it is for me), it's also actually very rewarding to come up with a reasonable response especially when you think the other person is being totally unreasonable.
Hey just a thought - use it, don't use it. At the end of the day it's about consciously controlling your voice in conjuction with the mind. Rather than your voice in conjuction with your foot.
In love and light
Tracey
Saturday 5 May 2012
Just one day at a time
It's 3.50 am on the 5th of May 2012, on this day 10 years ago Rob and I lost our son. We don't know why. It has been 10 years and every day we take it one day at a time. We have been blessed with 2 more children, but every mother will tell you that each one is loved with all her heart. So even though our lives are full and rewarding, there is always something missing.
When it happened, I did not want to carry on, I could very easily have joined him. However eventually the pain of a broken heart goes away and you get up out of bed, have a bath, have a cry, get dressed and start facing the world. A world that is forever changed because there is such a fundamental part of your being missing.
One day you wake up and it seems that the pain is as fresh as it was on the very day we lost him, yet it's a year later and you have survived. Hey, and life has gone on.
Then one day you wake up and it's 10 years and the pain is fresh and the tears still flow. I know that Jonathan David is experiencing a new journey, he has visited me on occasion and I have had signs that he is with my granny.
I also know that he is waiting for me and I'll tell you why.
Soon after we lost him, I had fallen asleep on the couch in our house in Kensington, I awoke to find him next to me, he was laughing and playing a game of hide and seek, my boy went behind the curtains (I remember they were green with thin yellow and red stripes). Before I could go and find him I regained full consciousness and there he is waiting behind the curtain for me to find him. You see where he is, there is no sense of time as we experience it here. so he will wait a moment for me to find him, but I unfortunately have to wait the rest of my physical life. I have always said that I imagine the transition from this life to the next as being met at the arrivals hall of an international airport, but my transition will begin with a laugh and a smile as I pull the curtain away and grab my child and hold him so close to my heart and in that instant all the pain and all the tears that have shed and will continue to shed for the rest of my life will be forgotten and I will finally be at peace.
AND THAT DEAR FRIENDS IS WHAT I'D CALL HEAVEN.
In love and light.
Tracey
When it happened, I did not want to carry on, I could very easily have joined him. However eventually the pain of a broken heart goes away and you get up out of bed, have a bath, have a cry, get dressed and start facing the world. A world that is forever changed because there is such a fundamental part of your being missing.
One day you wake up and it seems that the pain is as fresh as it was on the very day we lost him, yet it's a year later and you have survived. Hey, and life has gone on.
Then one day you wake up and it's 10 years and the pain is fresh and the tears still flow. I know that Jonathan David is experiencing a new journey, he has visited me on occasion and I have had signs that he is with my granny.
I also know that he is waiting for me and I'll tell you why.
Soon after we lost him, I had fallen asleep on the couch in our house in Kensington, I awoke to find him next to me, he was laughing and playing a game of hide and seek, my boy went behind the curtains (I remember they were green with thin yellow and red stripes). Before I could go and find him I regained full consciousness and there he is waiting behind the curtain for me to find him. You see where he is, there is no sense of time as we experience it here. so he will wait a moment for me to find him, but I unfortunately have to wait the rest of my physical life. I have always said that I imagine the transition from this life to the next as being met at the arrivals hall of an international airport, but my transition will begin with a laugh and a smile as I pull the curtain away and grab my child and hold him so close to my heart and in that instant all the pain and all the tears that have shed and will continue to shed for the rest of my life will be forgotten and I will finally be at peace.
AND THAT DEAR FRIENDS IS WHAT I'D CALL HEAVEN.
In love and light.
Tracey
Thursday 3 May 2012
The way I want to be
Lau Tzu "The way to do is to be."
I saw this quote on Twitter today and it made me think about my life and how I've lived it. The first thought that comes to mind is that I am not passionate about anything and therefore have no true goal. The honest truth is that I have spent my whole life hiding away, being a large person you'd think it's hard to hide but believe me it's easier than you think.
Most people are so hung up on themselves that they fail to notice how they affect anyone else. It's also true to say that the most defining moments of my life have been forged by pain. I could list some of the most pertinent events, but you all know those, because they were the most visible. There are several events that I have failed to share with anyone because they just hurt so much and account for so much of how I've lived my life.
However, I have always tried to be fair and just, I have always tried to think of others before myself and I have always tried to love the way I believe I should be loved.
And that dear friends is what is wrong with my life. So I will no longer try to be fair and just. I AM fair and just. I will no longer try to think of others. I DO think of others, and I have always tried to love, well I DO love deeply and will No Longer think of the pain but of the lessons I have learnt.
Thinking about it now, "tried" is a cop out, you either are or you aren't, does this make me a failure. NO if anything it has opened my eyes to being honest if not with anyone else then with myself. After all I have to live with myself. I have to look at myself in the mirror and when all is said and done I am the only when who has to live with me.
I love my children and am grateful everyday for them. I love my husband and am grateful for his love and support. I have often wondered what he fell in love with, and now I hope I know, and can accept that all the things I've tried to be, he knows I really am.
So to heck with trying and let's raise a toast to DOING.
In love and light
Tracey
I saw this quote on Twitter today and it made me think about my life and how I've lived it. The first thought that comes to mind is that I am not passionate about anything and therefore have no true goal. The honest truth is that I have spent my whole life hiding away, being a large person you'd think it's hard to hide but believe me it's easier than you think.
Most people are so hung up on themselves that they fail to notice how they affect anyone else. It's also true to say that the most defining moments of my life have been forged by pain. I could list some of the most pertinent events, but you all know those, because they were the most visible. There are several events that I have failed to share with anyone because they just hurt so much and account for so much of how I've lived my life.
However, I have always tried to be fair and just, I have always tried to think of others before myself and I have always tried to love the way I believe I should be loved.
And that dear friends is what is wrong with my life. So I will no longer try to be fair and just. I AM fair and just. I will no longer try to think of others. I DO think of others, and I have always tried to love, well I DO love deeply and will No Longer think of the pain but of the lessons I have learnt.
Thinking about it now, "tried" is a cop out, you either are or you aren't, does this make me a failure. NO if anything it has opened my eyes to being honest if not with anyone else then with myself. After all I have to live with myself. I have to look at myself in the mirror and when all is said and done I am the only when who has to live with me.
I love my children and am grateful everyday for them. I love my husband and am grateful for his love and support. I have often wondered what he fell in love with, and now I hope I know, and can accept that all the things I've tried to be, he knows I really am.
So to heck with trying and let's raise a toast to DOING.
In love and light
Tracey
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