Good Afternoon
I must admit that I am feeling rather YUK today, I don't know if it's just because it's so close to the Easter break, or if it's because of the time change, buit I am feeling really down. I have also had the strangest of dreams.Warning!
Gavin (my brother) and I where rearranging corpes. Not just any corpes mind you, we were switching the corpse of Jesus and the corpse of Aunty Be. Jesus' body had not yet decomposed and as I touched the mark on his head were the thorns had pierced his skin, his beautiful blue eye proceeded to sink into his face and out his mouth. I must admit that except for Aunty Be's leg being bent at the knee (like she was getting ready to stand up) I do not know what state of decomposition she was in.
This brings two very delicate matters to my mind, firstly Gavin is shit scared of anything to do with death and dying and secondly surely Jesus doesn't have any earthly remains after ascending to heaven? I did say warning, it just kind of worries me that I remember the details so vividly even now some 12 hours later. Perhaps it's just Be's way of letting me know that she is safe and home with Jesus and his Father. Perhpas she is trying to tell me that Gavin is finally ready to let her go. Whatever the message I do believe it is from her and as I have said several times I know that she is up there with granny, grampa, her sisters and husband and my baby, and they are all looking after each and every one of us still on this plain.
Just thinking about it...
In love and light
Tuesday 29 March 2011
Wednesday 23 March 2011
Day 23 Month 3
Good Evening
What a glorious day today has been. The weather was spectacular and I got to spend a lot of it outside. After today's tap lesson I took the kids to the park and we enjoyed the rest of the lovely sunny day. My mom got home from the hospital today and she sounds really well considering she has to be on oxygen for 22 out of 24 hours in a day she sounds upbeat and happy to be home. Unfortunately there is still nothing they can do for her back so she is still in a lot of pain.
All in all though a marvelous day, I know things are only getting better from here.
In love and light.
What a glorious day today has been. The weather was spectacular and I got to spend a lot of it outside. After today's tap lesson I took the kids to the park and we enjoyed the rest of the lovely sunny day. My mom got home from the hospital today and she sounds really well considering she has to be on oxygen for 22 out of 24 hours in a day she sounds upbeat and happy to be home. Unfortunately there is still nothing they can do for her back so she is still in a lot of pain.
All in all though a marvelous day, I know things are only getting better from here.
In love and light.
Sunday 20 March 2011
Month 3 Day 20
Hello on a very lazy Sunday evening.
Let's just say that I am enjoying a day at home. I have not been out all day. I cooked us a roast for lunch which my kids love and Rob did all the running around. He and K went for their karate grading yesterday and C and I baked cookies. They were good and they are now all gone (arh!). We then watch RED with Bruce Willis and John Malkovich, it was excellent, Rob and I had a good laugh. It was good fun movie, so watch it if you can.
I have been playing a little scrabble and enjoying my time at home, the lunch dishes are all done and the ironing is done too, hooray.
Waiting for my evening telly to begin and almost time to put the kids to bed, I say that while Rob is snoring on the bed next to me. I hope your Sunday has been as content and peaceful as mine.
In love and light.
Let's just say that I am enjoying a day at home. I have not been out all day. I cooked us a roast for lunch which my kids love and Rob did all the running around. He and K went for their karate grading yesterday and C and I baked cookies. They were good and they are now all gone (arh!). We then watch RED with Bruce Willis and John Malkovich, it was excellent, Rob and I had a good laugh. It was good fun movie, so watch it if you can.
I have been playing a little scrabble and enjoying my time at home, the lunch dishes are all done and the ironing is done too, hooray.
Waiting for my evening telly to begin and almost time to put the kids to bed, I say that while Rob is snoring on the bed next to me. I hope your Sunday has been as content and peaceful as mine.
In love and light.
Thursday 17 March 2011
Month 3 Day 17
Good Evening
I must admit that I have been feeling so sorry for myself lately that I have deliberately not watched the news with all the death and destruction in Japan. However I did catch the news tonight and was so horrified at the conditions of the survivors, I cried, I felt terrible that I could be so selfish. Tonight we had left overs for dinner. I made spaghetti on Tuesday night and there was more than enough left over for tonight. However in a queue in Japan people where waiting in a most dignified manner for a small ball of rice that was supposed to feed 2. My kids ate their dinner, I dished up for Rob and myself and there was still some in the pot. The clip then switched to a hospital, where the majority of the patients were elderly, the doctor has been awake for 3 days and the patients are starving. Yes my mom is in hospital, she is getting care from a rested staff and 3 meals a day. This kind of puts my problems into some perspective.
Tonight I will be lighting a candle and praying for all those people in Japan affected by this disaster.
May aid arrive quickly and I will also be praying for forgiveness for myself.
In love and light.
I must admit that I have been feeling so sorry for myself lately that I have deliberately not watched the news with all the death and destruction in Japan. However I did catch the news tonight and was so horrified at the conditions of the survivors, I cried, I felt terrible that I could be so selfish. Tonight we had left overs for dinner. I made spaghetti on Tuesday night and there was more than enough left over for tonight. However in a queue in Japan people where waiting in a most dignified manner for a small ball of rice that was supposed to feed 2. My kids ate their dinner, I dished up for Rob and myself and there was still some in the pot. The clip then switched to a hospital, where the majority of the patients were elderly, the doctor has been awake for 3 days and the patients are starving. Yes my mom is in hospital, she is getting care from a rested staff and 3 meals a day. This kind of puts my problems into some perspective.
Tonight I will be lighting a candle and praying for all those people in Japan affected by this disaster.
May aid arrive quickly and I will also be praying for forgiveness for myself.
In love and light.
Wednesday 16 March 2011
Month 3 Day 16
Hello One and All.
Just to fill you in since it has been a while since I last bothered to write.
1. I have submitted my childrens story for a competition.
2. We spent a fabulous day in London on Saturday visiting the V&A museum of Childhood, it was great to see that so many toys have survived through the ages. The kids had fun dressing up, and playing with all the goodies left out for them, of course the real good toys are all behind glass. Next we visited the Imperial War Museum which was marvelous and all I kept thinking of was my brother and how he could spend 10 days in the museum and still be interested in everything. I only wish I had more time to spend in the Holocaust exhibition, to see the pain that some inflicted on others was heartbreaking and knowing that somewhere somehow, my grandfather's cousins, aunties or uncles where subjected to such humiliation and pain. It was horrible to see and I was not the only person visibly upset by it.
3. My mother is not at all well and in the hospital, her heart is in a bad way and as a result her kidneys are also in a very bad way, to make matters worse she had a fall a few months ago and the doctor at the A& E told her it was just a bruise. The doctor looking after her now tells her, the break in the 12th vertibrae is clearly visible. So I am majorly (and please excuse the language) fucked off. You know I am a big believer in karma, what goes around comes around, but I know my mom and except for being a little bit bitter at the way her life has turned out, she has never intentionally harmed anyone. So trying to justify the physical pain she is in is hard. Anyway on a good note I have been speaking to her daily and besides being tired she is doing better.
4. I don't have a job from September 2011. I was really hoping after three years of volunteering and training I could settle down where I am now. Not going to happen - the budget cuts are now personally affecting me - so besides worrying about my mom I now have to start looking for a new job, AARG!
So after re-reading this it sometimes helps to feel sorry for yourself!
In love and light.
Just to fill you in since it has been a while since I last bothered to write.
1. I have submitted my childrens story for a competition.
2. We spent a fabulous day in London on Saturday visiting the V&A museum of Childhood, it was great to see that so many toys have survived through the ages. The kids had fun dressing up, and playing with all the goodies left out for them, of course the real good toys are all behind glass. Next we visited the Imperial War Museum which was marvelous and all I kept thinking of was my brother and how he could spend 10 days in the museum and still be interested in everything. I only wish I had more time to spend in the Holocaust exhibition, to see the pain that some inflicted on others was heartbreaking and knowing that somewhere somehow, my grandfather's cousins, aunties or uncles where subjected to such humiliation and pain. It was horrible to see and I was not the only person visibly upset by it.
3. My mother is not at all well and in the hospital, her heart is in a bad way and as a result her kidneys are also in a very bad way, to make matters worse she had a fall a few months ago and the doctor at the A& E told her it was just a bruise. The doctor looking after her now tells her, the break in the 12th vertibrae is clearly visible. So I am majorly (and please excuse the language) fucked off. You know I am a big believer in karma, what goes around comes around, but I know my mom and except for being a little bit bitter at the way her life has turned out, she has never intentionally harmed anyone. So trying to justify the physical pain she is in is hard. Anyway on a good note I have been speaking to her daily and besides being tired she is doing better.
4. I don't have a job from September 2011. I was really hoping after three years of volunteering and training I could settle down where I am now. Not going to happen - the budget cuts are now personally affecting me - so besides worrying about my mom I now have to start looking for a new job, AARG!
So after re-reading this it sometimes helps to feel sorry for yourself!
In love and light.
Friday 4 March 2011
Day4 Month 3 - Friday - hooray
I know, I know it's been a while since I wrote and so much for writing everyday, but like I said I'm no longer sweating the small stuff, I am so chuffed today let me tell you why.
Today the kids' passports arrived, I got a letter to say I need to go for an interview to confirm my identification. I am so amazed because the passport applications where only sent off on Monday this week, 28 February to 4 March and I have two of three passports. I called to make my appointment and had to mention that one part of our address was wrongly typed, in a total of 20 Minutes I had spoken directly to the person dealing with my application. All sorted, another call and 5 minutes later I have an appointment for an interview, how long do you think I need to wait for the interview? 2 weeks? 2 Months? 12 Hours, yes tomorrow morning I am going to an office closest to my post code, for an interview. Once complete I will have my new British passport within 7-10 days.
Compare this with trying to get my South African Passport, fill in forms, stand in queue (for 2 hours) see an "official" go and wait in another queue to have finger prints done (another 2 hours), then go and pay - yet another queue, and yes another 2 hours. Leave smelly and frustrated, go home and wait, 6 weeks (average) 12 weeks later letter comes in the post, go back to smelly home affairs office and wait in a queue, and wait and wait and wait. Walk out two hours later with passport and promise to bring the "official" a bottle of whiskey. "Official" will never see me again and next time I'll risk going into Johannesburg, rather than going to Germiston.
So needless to say I am very impressed at the efficiency of this particular governmental department.
To all of you back home in SA let me just say "NAH, Nah Nah nah NAH!!!!"
In love and light.
Today the kids' passports arrived, I got a letter to say I need to go for an interview to confirm my identification. I am so amazed because the passport applications where only sent off on Monday this week, 28 February to 4 March and I have two of three passports. I called to make my appointment and had to mention that one part of our address was wrongly typed, in a total of 20 Minutes I had spoken directly to the person dealing with my application. All sorted, another call and 5 minutes later I have an appointment for an interview, how long do you think I need to wait for the interview? 2 weeks? 2 Months? 12 Hours, yes tomorrow morning I am going to an office closest to my post code, for an interview. Once complete I will have my new British passport within 7-10 days.
Compare this with trying to get my South African Passport, fill in forms, stand in queue (for 2 hours) see an "official" go and wait in another queue to have finger prints done (another 2 hours), then go and pay - yet another queue, and yes another 2 hours. Leave smelly and frustrated, go home and wait, 6 weeks (average) 12 weeks later letter comes in the post, go back to smelly home affairs office and wait in a queue, and wait and wait and wait. Walk out two hours later with passport and promise to bring the "official" a bottle of whiskey. "Official" will never see me again and next time I'll risk going into Johannesburg, rather than going to Germiston.
So needless to say I am very impressed at the efficiency of this particular governmental department.
To all of you back home in SA let me just say "NAH, Nah Nah nah NAH!!!!"
In love and light.
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