As mentioned yesterday it is hard believe that the time has gone by so quickly and while yesterday I had mentioned how quickly the last 4 Christmas' had gone, today I am reminiscing about 2010.
Thinking back to January we were snowed in for about a week, this allowed me to read the Twilight series of books and spend time worrying because I had just started a new job and could not get there.
February came and went quite unexcitedly as did March, April and May. By June I had completed an NVQ3 in Childcare Learning and Development. With certificates arriving in July. August saw us holidaying in a caravan in Wales, which was a very lovely break away from the hum drum of our lives. September saw me starting a new job as a teaching assistant in a local school and even though only for a fixed term of 1 year it has been a really great way to gain experience. September also saw two major milestones: 1. I turned 40 years old and realised and accepted the fact that I have only not achieved the financial independance that I thought I might have at this time of my life. 2. Rob and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. I was spoilt witha trip up to London and dinner in a nice restaurant. Somewhere between July and September we went to see Greenday at Wembly which was a concert to blow away all other concerts.
Anyway since September there has been settling into new routines, with the kids each doing different extra-curricular activities and me playing taxi. It has over all been a very busy year, which is probably why it seems to have gone so fast. I do wonder though if the days and months and years are becoming shorter and we are all therefore not crazy because time has changed and not merely our perception of it.
Cheers
Wednesday 29 December 2010
Tuesday 28 December 2010
Another Year Come and Gone
Well, well can you believe that Christmas has already come and gone? It seems like yesterday I was celebrating Christmas with my parents as a child myself and now I have had several Christmas' with my own two beautiful children.
There are two things about the last 4 Christmas' I have missed.
1. My family
2. The Sun
1. Let me elaborate in 2007 my husband and I took the momentous decision to move our young family to the UK. Having been born in South Africa it was not an easy decision to make. Essentially for me it was much harder because I was leaving all my family behind. Family that included my mother, father, sister, brothers a niece and great niece. These are all the people I have loved and have loved me unconditionally my whole life.
We were also leaving all our friends behind. Friends with whom we had spent hundreds of hours drinking and partying and then we all started our families at more or less the same time given a few years here and there.
I was also leaving my support system, friends and family that had carried us through the trauma of loosing our first baby, people who had helped us wet the roof in our home, thrown baby showers for etc, etc. And so I could really go on feeling sorry for myself, but I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances and these circumstances were self made. But it is Christmas and it is this time of year when we are allowed to miss our loved ones.
2. The Sun
Having been born in the Southern Hemisphere let me tell you that I know what it's like to be so hot you feel that you are melting, and with the snow in January and December this year I can tell you that I know what it's like to be so cold that you can't feel your toes, even with the central heating on. Anyway this year in particular I have missed Christmas lunch by the pool in my Boet's (brother's) garden, which is strange because my family had lunch at my sisters place, only a paddling pool for the kids. I suppose it's just how our memories work.
So here's to another year just round the corner and a toast to the sun, may it forever bring heat and light to this wonderful world of ours.
Cheers.
There are two things about the last 4 Christmas' I have missed.
1. My family
2. The Sun
1. Let me elaborate in 2007 my husband and I took the momentous decision to move our young family to the UK. Having been born in South Africa it was not an easy decision to make. Essentially for me it was much harder because I was leaving all my family behind. Family that included my mother, father, sister, brothers a niece and great niece. These are all the people I have loved and have loved me unconditionally my whole life.
We were also leaving all our friends behind. Friends with whom we had spent hundreds of hours drinking and partying and then we all started our families at more or less the same time given a few years here and there.
I was also leaving my support system, friends and family that had carried us through the trauma of loosing our first baby, people who had helped us wet the roof in our home, thrown baby showers for etc, etc. And so I could really go on feeling sorry for myself, but I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances and these circumstances were self made. But it is Christmas and it is this time of year when we are allowed to miss our loved ones.
2. The Sun
Having been born in the Southern Hemisphere let me tell you that I know what it's like to be so hot you feel that you are melting, and with the snow in January and December this year I can tell you that I know what it's like to be so cold that you can't feel your toes, even with the central heating on. Anyway this year in particular I have missed Christmas lunch by the pool in my Boet's (brother's) garden, which is strange because my family had lunch at my sisters place, only a paddling pool for the kids. I suppose it's just how our memories work.
So here's to another year just round the corner and a toast to the sun, may it forever bring heat and light to this wonderful world of ours.
Cheers.
Saturday 20 November 2010
Fantasy Vs Reality
Well it's been a few days since my last post and it's all quiet on the South Eastern front. A very busy week has come to a close with some very cold weather. Both kids are out at parties so I am getting a little me time.
I have been looking forward to this all week and yet find myself missing the noise and the fighting and the whole house seems just too still.
Oh take that back the heating just clicked on! I wouldn't have heard it but the computer sits in the room next to the heating cupboard and boiler, get the picture?
Finished Dan Brown's the Lost Symbol this week and I think the conspiracy theorists must have had a lot of fodder for their causes. It is great though to pick up a book that essentially brings a lot of new age thinking into the commercial world and while I am not naive enough to believe in it all, there are so many things that have been written over the ages that do sound so far fetched but then things like "The kingdom of Heaven is within you" Luke 17 20-21 do begin to make a lot of sense. These sentiments are echoed in many different writings throughout the ages and some scholars spend their lives studying just one section of some religious texts.
Imagine being so devoted to a few lines of scripture that they fill your entire universe with one thing. Imagine the power of creation in just such thinking, and if we are able to manifest our own realities then imagine if everyone took a few minutes everyday to fully concentrate on one single thought, let's say peace. Wouldn't it be great if world peace could be attained by a mass of positive thinking rather than war? Gosh wouldn't that be fantastic or even fantastical?
I have been looking forward to this all week and yet find myself missing the noise and the fighting and the whole house seems just too still.
Oh take that back the heating just clicked on! I wouldn't have heard it but the computer sits in the room next to the heating cupboard and boiler, get the picture?
Finished Dan Brown's the Lost Symbol this week and I think the conspiracy theorists must have had a lot of fodder for their causes. It is great though to pick up a book that essentially brings a lot of new age thinking into the commercial world and while I am not naive enough to believe in it all, there are so many things that have been written over the ages that do sound so far fetched but then things like "The kingdom of Heaven is within you" Luke 17 20-21 do begin to make a lot of sense. These sentiments are echoed in many different writings throughout the ages and some scholars spend their lives studying just one section of some religious texts.
Imagine being so devoted to a few lines of scripture that they fill your entire universe with one thing. Imagine the power of creation in just such thinking, and if we are able to manifest our own realities then imagine if everyone took a few minutes everyday to fully concentrate on one single thought, let's say peace. Wouldn't it be great if world peace could be attained by a mass of positive thinking rather than war? Gosh wouldn't that be fantastic or even fantastical?
Wednesday 17 November 2010
It's real when it happens to you.
Well it's been a rather eventful day, my children and I became British citizens today. I managed miraculously not to cry during the ceremony and thank goodness for Beryl's husband Howard who lead us all in the singing of the national anthem. So today is earmarked as an historic day in the lives of these 3 Browns.
Having said that I gave my sister in SA a call and her life is just getting better and better and she said to me that she knows why.
Growing up as Christians (not so much at home, but at school) we are taught that there is one true God and anything else is evil. My sister who introduced me to The Secret, just could not seem to get on top of things, money was short all the time, jobs were scarce and her relationship with her ex-husband had become difficult and abusive. In short her life was as bad as it could get. That was just a couple of months ago and yet to talk to her on the phone or chat via facebook is an inspiration in itself because of the turn-around her life has taken. She has money in the bank, a great job and food in the cupboards (occassionally my sister would come over to visit me and do what we liked to call affirmative shopping, ie raiding my cupboards for a meal), so this is for her a magical time.
Anyway tonight on the phone she told me why... She has reconciled the fact that Christian faith and Universal abundance is one and the same. When asking the universe to provide for her, she felt guilty as if she were betraying God. You cannot manifest your deepest dreams and desires when you are wracked with guilt. Now she knows that God and the universe are one, she is able to manifest the life she wants. She has also been attending a Spiritualist church rather than a Christian church and has found an outlet for her need to help others. She has sung and chaired an evening twice now, and I know that whatever she says and no matter how nervous she may be, her words are touching someone and helping someone.
The one thing I can say though is that she IS GREAT and when you are seen through the eyes of love, there can be no doubt of a higher power. I love you Sis!
Having said that I gave my sister in SA a call and her life is just getting better and better and she said to me that she knows why.
Growing up as Christians (not so much at home, but at school) we are taught that there is one true God and anything else is evil. My sister who introduced me to The Secret, just could not seem to get on top of things, money was short all the time, jobs were scarce and her relationship with her ex-husband had become difficult and abusive. In short her life was as bad as it could get. That was just a couple of months ago and yet to talk to her on the phone or chat via facebook is an inspiration in itself because of the turn-around her life has taken. She has money in the bank, a great job and food in the cupboards (occassionally my sister would come over to visit me and do what we liked to call affirmative shopping, ie raiding my cupboards for a meal), so this is for her a magical time.
Anyway tonight on the phone she told me why... She has reconciled the fact that Christian faith and Universal abundance is one and the same. When asking the universe to provide for her, she felt guilty as if she were betraying God. You cannot manifest your deepest dreams and desires when you are wracked with guilt. Now she knows that God and the universe are one, she is able to manifest the life she wants. She has also been attending a Spiritualist church rather than a Christian church and has found an outlet for her need to help others. She has sung and chaired an evening twice now, and I know that whatever she says and no matter how nervous she may be, her words are touching someone and helping someone.
The one thing I can say though is that she IS GREAT and when you are seen through the eyes of love, there can be no doubt of a higher power. I love you Sis!
Tuesday 16 November 2010
"Transformation requires sacrifice"
Well another day has come and is almost gone, a rather uneventful day except that I have been reading Dan Brown's Lost Symbol, the concepts that he writes about are so fascinating and so New Age that of course I have heard most of it before. I have read "The Secret", I have read bits of the Kabalion, I am familiar with terms like polarity and lessons like "as above so below". The one thing that I read, that is seeming to haunt me are the words "Transformation requires sacrifice" of course these words were written for the baddie, BUT, they haunt me because they are true.
I am overweight and if I want to loose the excess I have to sacrifice. Not the blood but the bad habits, the large dinners just before bed, the extra piece of cake my kids haven't finished eating, the chocolates, the sweets, the chips. If I want to transform from an overweight 40 year old, I HAVE to sacrifice all these types of things.
Here again I believe that my total lack of passion holds me back from achieving even the most sensible and healthy of physical states.
Bad habits learned over the years are very hard to break and yet good habits can be broken seemingly without effort.
I really think it's time to exert a little control over my mind and body. I have actually found that Noetic Science is an actual science, relatively new, the concepts are age old and have been preached for thousands of years (before Christ), Paul McKenna uses neurolinguistic programming to help you achieve your dreams and desires, this by the way is just a really modern term for good old fashioned meditation. The power to keep your mind clear of all clutter is the key to achieving you desires... Or is it?
Something else I wish that was as clear cut as death and bloody taxes!!
I am overweight and if I want to loose the excess I have to sacrifice. Not the blood but the bad habits, the large dinners just before bed, the extra piece of cake my kids haven't finished eating, the chocolates, the sweets, the chips. If I want to transform from an overweight 40 year old, I HAVE to sacrifice all these types of things.
Here again I believe that my total lack of passion holds me back from achieving even the most sensible and healthy of physical states.
Bad habits learned over the years are very hard to break and yet good habits can be broken seemingly without effort.
I really think it's time to exert a little control over my mind and body. I have actually found that Noetic Science is an actual science, relatively new, the concepts are age old and have been preached for thousands of years (before Christ), Paul McKenna uses neurolinguistic programming to help you achieve your dreams and desires, this by the way is just a really modern term for good old fashioned meditation. The power to keep your mind clear of all clutter is the key to achieving you desires... Or is it?
Something else I wish that was as clear cut as death and bloody taxes!!
Monday 15 November 2010
Death and Taxes
Well it's been a while since I decided to share my views with anyone but myself, as picking up a pen and scribbling down pages and pages at a time seems a lot easier than sitting here at this computer.
I have completed the training I chatted about earlier and have a really great term time job. BUT! I have also recently read Paul McKenna's Change your life in 7 days and must admit that while it's nothing I have not read elsewhere before, I did the exercises and listened to the CD and I rediscovered something about myself... I am not passionate about anything!
The old slogan that if you do something you love, you'll never really work is true - but what if - LIKE ME - there is nothing that sufficiently inspires you to greatness. I have made a list of the things that matter in my life and while they all revolve around my family and friends, there is nothing that I am passionate about. Having said that though, there is lots that I love, but nothing that I would consider myself passionate about. I love my children and thought that doing something in childcare would fill the hole. It hasn't! I then thought that working with special needs children would fill the hole and it hasn't, that doesn't mean however that I am sorry I work with special needs children, quite the contrary as I am amazed and inspired everyday by their perseverance and determination to do things you and I may take for granted. But I do sometimes feel that there is something missing.
I think the problem is that I really want to make a difference and sometimes it seems that I am just plodding along day to day and it's hard to make a difference just plodding.
I don't know if I have mentioned this before but I am a clairsentient, this means that I am very perceptive and intuitively know what people are feeling. I am also considerably empathetic, so I consulted my Angel Cards (not condoned by the church attend) for guidance as to my life purpose. The guidance I have been given is to take back my power, work with children or animals and definitely get closer to nature. Incidentally this was almost the same message I received when trying to decide whether to embark on my childcare training.
I have an idea that I could be an author, I enjoy writing and have loads and loads of stuff I have written, but am I passionate about the idea? No, would I sacrifice time and effort on writing a book? NO and I have 2 attempts on this computer right now to prove it.
I also have an idea that I would like to do bereavement counciling as I have worked in an old folks home where palliative care was given, I am also the parent of a deceased child and so could totally sympathise with other parents, my problem here is not whether I am prepared to sacrifice a year of my life (or 8 months at a push) to complete a course but where am I going to find the money for the course? And so back to square 1 because I am not going to sacrifice the small amount of time I have with my children to WORK another job to pay for a course that's going to take up a huge amount of time.
What I am really trying to say is.... "I wish everything was as certain as Death and Taxes."
I have completed the training I chatted about earlier and have a really great term time job. BUT! I have also recently read Paul McKenna's Change your life in 7 days and must admit that while it's nothing I have not read elsewhere before, I did the exercises and listened to the CD and I rediscovered something about myself... I am not passionate about anything!
The old slogan that if you do something you love, you'll never really work is true - but what if - LIKE ME - there is nothing that sufficiently inspires you to greatness. I have made a list of the things that matter in my life and while they all revolve around my family and friends, there is nothing that I am passionate about. Having said that though, there is lots that I love, but nothing that I would consider myself passionate about. I love my children and thought that doing something in childcare would fill the hole. It hasn't! I then thought that working with special needs children would fill the hole and it hasn't, that doesn't mean however that I am sorry I work with special needs children, quite the contrary as I am amazed and inspired everyday by their perseverance and determination to do things you and I may take for granted. But I do sometimes feel that there is something missing.
I think the problem is that I really want to make a difference and sometimes it seems that I am just plodding along day to day and it's hard to make a difference just plodding.
I don't know if I have mentioned this before but I am a clairsentient, this means that I am very perceptive and intuitively know what people are feeling. I am also considerably empathetic, so I consulted my Angel Cards (not condoned by the church attend) for guidance as to my life purpose. The guidance I have been given is to take back my power, work with children or animals and definitely get closer to nature. Incidentally this was almost the same message I received when trying to decide whether to embark on my childcare training.
I have an idea that I could be an author, I enjoy writing and have loads and loads of stuff I have written, but am I passionate about the idea? No, would I sacrifice time and effort on writing a book? NO and I have 2 attempts on this computer right now to prove it.
I also have an idea that I would like to do bereavement counciling as I have worked in an old folks home where palliative care was given, I am also the parent of a deceased child and so could totally sympathise with other parents, my problem here is not whether I am prepared to sacrifice a year of my life (or 8 months at a push) to complete a course but where am I going to find the money for the course? And so back to square 1 because I am not going to sacrifice the small amount of time I have with my children to WORK another job to pay for a course that's going to take up a huge amount of time.
What I am really trying to say is.... "I wish everything was as certain as Death and Taxes."
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