It's another glorous day, unforntuately I have been working this morning. Alot of the day is gone, but there is more of the day to come and I have been playing a little bit of scrabble on fb. It's just so relaxing, the hustle and bustle of "The Wedding" is over and I sit at the kitchen table, door open, the wind blowing through the trees and I can't help thinking how blessed I really am.
So I had to work today but you know it's over now and yes I'll work tomorrow but let's face it, I am BLESSED because I can get up and go to work and I am blessed some more because I have a job to go to and I am blessed again because this is not even my full time job, it's extra so I can go home and visit my family.In this day and age when so many live on benefits or are unable to find work, I have 2 jobs. There are draw backs, but I know they are temporary so all in all "it just doesn't get any better than this!"
In love and light.
Saturday 30 April 2011
Friday 29 April 2011
Month 4 Day 29 - Happily ever after
Hello
Well a beautiful day for a Royal wedding, not too hot and the rain held off. It's lovely to see the whole country (or what seems like the whole country) behind Prince William and his bride. I heard on the news someone say that it's all for monarcy public relations, he said it in a negative way and I think that some people can't understand the pressure that people like William are under. His mother for all her goodness, turned into a bitter woman full of despair and seriously damaged the relationship the public had with the monarcy. Having said that though I think Prince Charles is a good man, he has protected his children and helped keep their privacy. It's good to see him happy and all the upheaval of the past could have been avoided had he been allowed the bride of his choice.
Wills and Kate looked truely happy and I know from experience that the best husbands are often the best friends, love and kids etc are the bonuses that come along with being married to your best friend. Your friend knows you inside and out and they love you exactly as you are, because there was no alterior motive to begin with. The most important thing in any relationship is trust and friends are very often more trustworthy than lovers. I don't know the actual reason for Kate not giving Wills a ring but I think it goes a long way in showing the trust she has in him. She did not need to place a band on his finger to prove he belongs to her. And he does believe in her, the smile and sneaky looks say it all. I know because I give these looks and I get these looks from my very BEST friend, my husband, that doesn't mean we don't fight, but it does mean that he understands every single one of my moods and tempers. He knew them before we loved each other and he accepts them now as who I am and I don't have to be anyone different that me.
To Wills and Kate may I wish them love, peace and joy. To everyone else I wish true love and the opportunity to have a best friend.
In love and light
Well a beautiful day for a Royal wedding, not too hot and the rain held off. It's lovely to see the whole country (or what seems like the whole country) behind Prince William and his bride. I heard on the news someone say that it's all for monarcy public relations, he said it in a negative way and I think that some people can't understand the pressure that people like William are under. His mother for all her goodness, turned into a bitter woman full of despair and seriously damaged the relationship the public had with the monarcy. Having said that though I think Prince Charles is a good man, he has protected his children and helped keep their privacy. It's good to see him happy and all the upheaval of the past could have been avoided had he been allowed the bride of his choice.
Wills and Kate looked truely happy and I know from experience that the best husbands are often the best friends, love and kids etc are the bonuses that come along with being married to your best friend. Your friend knows you inside and out and they love you exactly as you are, because there was no alterior motive to begin with. The most important thing in any relationship is trust and friends are very often more trustworthy than lovers. I don't know the actual reason for Kate not giving Wills a ring but I think it goes a long way in showing the trust she has in him. She did not need to place a band on his finger to prove he belongs to her. And he does believe in her, the smile and sneaky looks say it all. I know because I give these looks and I get these looks from my very BEST friend, my husband, that doesn't mean we don't fight, but it does mean that he understands every single one of my moods and tempers. He knew them before we loved each other and he accepts them now as who I am and I don't have to be anyone different that me.
To Wills and Kate may I wish them love, peace and joy. To everyone else I wish true love and the opportunity to have a best friend.
In love and light
Tuesday 19 April 2011
Month4 Day 19
Good Afternoon!
I mean that in the most positive way possible. Blessed once again with great weather, Jo and I decided we'd go to Southsea today, it was fabulous, loads of people enjoying the school holidays and the sun, the news says that this weather is supposed to last until after the May 1st bank holiday, so spoilt, spoilt spoilt!! The kids (all 5 of them) were spectaularly behaved and althought the splash area was out of order, the kids did enjoy a some time on the beach in the sea. The water looked spectaular and the kids faces told me it was cold. We then headed home and the kids continued to play beautifully in the sprinkler in the back yard, thank goodness we do not have a water meter!!
Anyway just thought I'd share this little tidbit with you and because those of you in the southern hemisphere who read this are beginning to freeze your "arlies"off, brag about their good weather well so am I.
In love and light
I mean that in the most positive way possible. Blessed once again with great weather, Jo and I decided we'd go to Southsea today, it was fabulous, loads of people enjoying the school holidays and the sun, the news says that this weather is supposed to last until after the May 1st bank holiday, so spoilt, spoilt spoilt!! The kids (all 5 of them) were spectaularly behaved and althought the splash area was out of order, the kids did enjoy a some time on the beach in the sea. The water looked spectaular and the kids faces told me it was cold. We then headed home and the kids continued to play beautifully in the sprinkler in the back yard, thank goodness we do not have a water meter!!
Anyway just thought I'd share this little tidbit with you and because those of you in the southern hemisphere who read this are beginning to freeze your "arlies"off, brag about their good weather well so am I.
In love and light
Saturday 16 April 2011
Month 4 Day 15 It'd been found
Well it has been found. Yes the elusive DSi has been found. After searching through all the toy boxes and everything else it was found against the wall behind the draw and paint box, the only box I did not personally go through. So fully relieved and K still fully banned from all electronic gadgetry. I got a text while at work this morning letting me know.
Anyway in order to make some additional cash for our holiday I am working 2 weekends a month at the old folks home, from 7am to 1pm the only problem is that I am on my feet for a full 7 hours (bar 15 minute tea break) I am sitting here now absolutely exhausted. I must admit that it is great to see the old folks, I started last week and while there are lots of old faces unfortunely there are also lots of new faces, there is a waiting list so some one passes on and the room is refilled. It's sad but it gets to a point when you know that your folks need good care and the patients with dementia are the worst, they are confused and frightened, they don't remember anyone or anything from day to day and I can see why it's so hard for families to deal with.
In love and light.
Anyway in order to make some additional cash for our holiday I am working 2 weekends a month at the old folks home, from 7am to 1pm the only problem is that I am on my feet for a full 7 hours (bar 15 minute tea break) I am sitting here now absolutely exhausted. I must admit that it is great to see the old folks, I started last week and while there are lots of old faces unfortunely there are also lots of new faces, there is a waiting list so some one passes on and the room is refilled. It's sad but it gets to a point when you know that your folks need good care and the patients with dementia are the worst, they are confused and frightened, they don't remember anyone or anything from day to day and I can see why it's so hard for families to deal with.
In love and light.
Thursday 14 April 2011
Month 4 Day 14
Gosh I've had a real lousy day.
I feel so deflated and that is because we have searched this house high and low for K's DSi. Every drawer I opened there is junk, every box I moved more junk, when I think that we came here 4 short years ago with three suit cases and two carry-ons, now we have accumulated so much crap. There is more stuff in the garage than we had in our entire first home (our little two bedroom flat in Bez Valley before we had kids!) and when I think that we had Catherine cleaning up after us and making the beds and I didn't even know what dust was,now today I walked around with a scrap of a white towel and you should see the amount of dust no wonder I have such blinking allegies.
Anyway I have completely lost my temper periodically throughout the day. Simply because my son is so ungrateful, it doesn't bother him that this very expensive gadget is gone. When I say we searched high and low I mean C and I searched high and low. The point of today's entry is this. I really hate it when I feel out of control and when I completely strip, I scream and shout like a banshee and my voice gets louder and louder, I am sure the whole neighbourhood has heard me shouting today although hopefully a muffled version due to double glazed windows.
Anyway, I decided I needed some guidance and next to this very computer sits my bible, so I held it for a while took a few deep breaths and opened it. What did it say? It said something like this, Hosea the profit was feeling angry and betrayed because his wife had been unfaithful to him. God wanted Hosea to keep loving his wife, because those who we love hurt us the most, and we must rise above that hurt and just keep loving. Yes, God continues to love us no matter how much we hurt him and I suppose if I scale this down to what my day has been like then I need to continue to love my son even though I feel hurt and betrayed by his ungratefulness, the thing is I never ever felt that I did not love him, my love for him is absolute and he is such a sensitive child with an amazing sense of humour and so much love that he gives in return, so how can I feel such love and such anger at the same time for the same person? I think it's just that he has no clue about how much was sacrificed in order for his sister and himself to get these games consoles. I have been searching for this blooming machine because I know that after a long day at work Rob is coming home to start another search with yet more shouting and performing.
I think I am even angry with myself because the machine had been on the kitchen table for days and days and when I finaly got one of the kids to clear the table the blooming thing goes missing. I should have just done it myself, but I am so sick and tired of cleaning up after them and I really feel that it is time they took responsibility for their things. Holy crap I could just keep going on and on and on and on.
Bottom line I just wish the thing would reappear and soon.
In love and light.
I feel so deflated and that is because we have searched this house high and low for K's DSi. Every drawer I opened there is junk, every box I moved more junk, when I think that we came here 4 short years ago with three suit cases and two carry-ons, now we have accumulated so much crap. There is more stuff in the garage than we had in our entire first home (our little two bedroom flat in Bez Valley before we had kids!) and when I think that we had Catherine cleaning up after us and making the beds and I didn't even know what dust was,now today I walked around with a scrap of a white towel and you should see the amount of dust no wonder I have such blinking allegies.
Anyway I have completely lost my temper periodically throughout the day. Simply because my son is so ungrateful, it doesn't bother him that this very expensive gadget is gone. When I say we searched high and low I mean C and I searched high and low. The point of today's entry is this. I really hate it when I feel out of control and when I completely strip, I scream and shout like a banshee and my voice gets louder and louder, I am sure the whole neighbourhood has heard me shouting today although hopefully a muffled version due to double glazed windows.
Anyway, I decided I needed some guidance and next to this very computer sits my bible, so I held it for a while took a few deep breaths and opened it. What did it say? It said something like this, Hosea the profit was feeling angry and betrayed because his wife had been unfaithful to him. God wanted Hosea to keep loving his wife, because those who we love hurt us the most, and we must rise above that hurt and just keep loving. Yes, God continues to love us no matter how much we hurt him and I suppose if I scale this down to what my day has been like then I need to continue to love my son even though I feel hurt and betrayed by his ungratefulness, the thing is I never ever felt that I did not love him, my love for him is absolute and he is such a sensitive child with an amazing sense of humour and so much love that he gives in return, so how can I feel such love and such anger at the same time for the same person? I think it's just that he has no clue about how much was sacrificed in order for his sister and himself to get these games consoles. I have been searching for this blooming machine because I know that after a long day at work Rob is coming home to start another search with yet more shouting and performing.
I think I am even angry with myself because the machine had been on the kitchen table for days and days and when I finaly got one of the kids to clear the table the blooming thing goes missing. I should have just done it myself, but I am so sick and tired of cleaning up after them and I really feel that it is time they took responsibility for their things. Holy crap I could just keep going on and on and on and on.
Bottom line I just wish the thing would reappear and soon.
In love and light.
Friday 8 April 2011
Month4 Day8
WOW!!! Wow what a spectacular day. The weather this week has been great, I walked the kids to school, they finished at 12pm so after coffee with Jo and coming home to do the ironing, I walked back to the school and collected them, we then spent a glorious afternoon in the park, loads of kids they knew running around and sun glistening off the lake, and the grass green. The dogs running around the boats waiting on the water for tomorrow when people will leisurely row them around. Like I said WOW, life just doesn't getter better than this.
I started listening to Zig again this morning and the one on my IPOD is View from the top which is his CV about moving from success to significance and while I have few of the things money can buy, boy I am loaded because I have all of the things that money CAN'T buy.
I don't own a house, but boy do we have a great HOME. I don't have many companions, but I have friends (true friends nearby and far way). I looked around today and I realised just how lucky I REALLY am!! It's true, joy is the most important emotion but isn't it great when you realise that you need only be truley grateful for the things you have, even if they are only the weather and lots of smiling kids running around in the sun.
In love and light.
I started listening to Zig again this morning and the one on my IPOD is View from the top which is his CV about moving from success to significance and while I have few of the things money can buy, boy I am loaded because I have all of the things that money CAN'T buy.
I don't own a house, but boy do we have a great HOME. I don't have many companions, but I have friends (true friends nearby and far way). I looked around today and I realised just how lucky I REALLY am!! It's true, joy is the most important emotion but isn't it great when you realise that you need only be truley grateful for the things you have, even if they are only the weather and lots of smiling kids running around in the sun.
In love and light.
Tuesday 5 April 2011
Day5 Month 4 - A meaningful specific
I know, I know... It's just that there has not been much to say, things have been so busy and I have been so stressed over the whole job thing and Beryl moving away and I have been worried and I have been upset and I and I and I and I. Yes it's been one of those selfish phases that I seem to wallow in and then resent after.
I was just about to log off now for the evening when I decided to check my Twitter account, I don't have many followers and I follow specific things, mainly inspirational quotes etc, but I also follow Tom Ziglar who is the son of Zig Ziglar, motivational speaker and one of the best I have ever heard or read. I love his stuff and have or should I say had all his talks on cd, anyway tonight there was this little video and I am really sorry that I don't know how to attach it here, but it's just a little animated thing about tweeting, the bonus for me was that it included a number of Zig's quotes, and one of them was " are you a wandering generality or a meaningful specific." I had bought a number of cd's directly from the States and living in Joburg I was really glad to actually receive them through the post. When I heard Zig say those words during one of his live talks something struck me. You know I am a wandering generality, I cannot focus or keep goals no matter how much determination I have to start off with.
Granted I suppose I was quite content to work hard, have a nice house, drive a new car and live from bonus to bonus working in a global bank. Then fate dealt me (us) a terrible blow, we lost our baby and all of a sudden nothing was certain anymore, overnight and with broken heart it became clear that no matter how you plan for things- they can go wrong. Next month it will be 9 years and I am still looking for my purpose, yes I have learnt lessons and yes, I get by, but lets face it I have been running away. I live 11000 miles from the family who love me and supported us during the worst of the grief. I was in the bank for 8 years earning good money and threw it up for a couple of lousy temp jobs, even here in the UK I started out temping, got offers for permanent positions and left, so why now when I finaly find a job I love and had hoped to settle down in, there are budget constraints and last in first out so - sorry for you Trace. Well it all boils down to being a wandering generality, if the law of attraction is true and I know it is, then subconsciously I am constantly preparing to fail. It's like I was supposed to start a diet yesterday because I want to be healthier and with fewer aches and pains for our holiday in August and what did I do today? I ate more than did the whole of last week, I am not proud of myself and it feeds this endless cycle of failure my life has become. Zig also said that motivation is something you need daily like a bath, so the only alternative is to begin again listening to Zig and others who have motivated me, problem here is that I think almost everyone I know has one of my books, cd's or dvds. Silly me for wanting to spread the miraculous words of others.
Gonna have to start building up my library AGAIN.
In love and light
I was just about to log off now for the evening when I decided to check my Twitter account, I don't have many followers and I follow specific things, mainly inspirational quotes etc, but I also follow Tom Ziglar who is the son of Zig Ziglar, motivational speaker and one of the best I have ever heard or read. I love his stuff and have or should I say had all his talks on cd, anyway tonight there was this little video and I am really sorry that I don't know how to attach it here, but it's just a little animated thing about tweeting, the bonus for me was that it included a number of Zig's quotes, and one of them was " are you a wandering generality or a meaningful specific." I had bought a number of cd's directly from the States and living in Joburg I was really glad to actually receive them through the post. When I heard Zig say those words during one of his live talks something struck me. You know I am a wandering generality, I cannot focus or keep goals no matter how much determination I have to start off with.
Granted I suppose I was quite content to work hard, have a nice house, drive a new car and live from bonus to bonus working in a global bank. Then fate dealt me (us) a terrible blow, we lost our baby and all of a sudden nothing was certain anymore, overnight and with broken heart it became clear that no matter how you plan for things- they can go wrong. Next month it will be 9 years and I am still looking for my purpose, yes I have learnt lessons and yes, I get by, but lets face it I have been running away. I live 11000 miles from the family who love me and supported us during the worst of the grief. I was in the bank for 8 years earning good money and threw it up for a couple of lousy temp jobs, even here in the UK I started out temping, got offers for permanent positions and left, so why now when I finaly find a job I love and had hoped to settle down in, there are budget constraints and last in first out so - sorry for you Trace. Well it all boils down to being a wandering generality, if the law of attraction is true and I know it is, then subconsciously I am constantly preparing to fail. It's like I was supposed to start a diet yesterday because I want to be healthier and with fewer aches and pains for our holiday in August and what did I do today? I ate more than did the whole of last week, I am not proud of myself and it feeds this endless cycle of failure my life has become. Zig also said that motivation is something you need daily like a bath, so the only alternative is to begin again listening to Zig and others who have motivated me, problem here is that I think almost everyone I know has one of my books, cd's or dvds. Silly me for wanting to spread the miraculous words of others.
Gonna have to start building up my library AGAIN.
In love and light
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