"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world." ~Buddha.
I saw this quote and you know it's the 3rd time in as many days that I have seen something similar, said something similar and shared something similar. I'm guessing the Universe is trying to tell me something.
A couple of nights ago I re-read the first part of The Master Key System by Charles Haanel, this part basically tell you that your external world is a reflection of your inner world. Since my vision board is being used to focus our thoughts, my home environment is pretty good. A good start. In the mornings I work in a warehouse and usually suffer from some sort of verbal diarrhoea, anyway the chap I work with listens and I share what I am learning. So it was mentioned again today and then this evening I see the above quote.
After re-finding The Secret, I have spent a lot of time checking the facts, the Emerald Tablet, says "as above so below, as within so without." or something like that, and I am not in the mood to dig through my notes, but anyway this is how I remember it.
So today I ask that you consider your external world and see what is not right, what is not as you would want it to be and then do yourself a favour and change your thinking. Change the perspective from which you are viewing the discord. If it is something you can change, then do it in the most positive manner you can, if you can't change it then change your thinking about it, see it from another point of view, smother it in love and gratitude and move away from it. Rather move toward something else. Get mentally active to generate the external change you want.
In love and light
Tracey
Wednesday 14 November 2012
Tuesday 13 November 2012
Faith in yourself. YES YES YES
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself. -Muhammed Ali.
I saw tghis quote and thought about how amazing it must be to have such faith in yourself. even when everyone else is saying NO, the little voice in your head is say YES YES YES!!
People who have the YES YES YES voice go on to be legends, just like the man I quoted tonight, he believed in himself, he worked hard and he made a difference. As a champion he also embraced faith in his God. Allah, to muslims, God, to me and hundreds of other names to thousands of others.
It does not matter to whom we pray, it is having the confidence to say I believe in myself. For if we are created in the image of our creator then we must be blessed with all the power of creation.
Think it and you create it and in essence this is what someone with a YES YES YES voice does. They think about the best possible outcome all the time. They focis on what they want and it is created, they work, they notice the signs, they sieze opportunities and the universe really does conspire to bring about what is thought about.
Short but sweet tonight.
In love and light
Tracey
I saw tghis quote and thought about how amazing it must be to have such faith in yourself. even when everyone else is saying NO, the little voice in your head is say YES YES YES!!
People who have the YES YES YES voice go on to be legends, just like the man I quoted tonight, he believed in himself, he worked hard and he made a difference. As a champion he also embraced faith in his God. Allah, to muslims, God, to me and hundreds of other names to thousands of others.
It does not matter to whom we pray, it is having the confidence to say I believe in myself. For if we are created in the image of our creator then we must be blessed with all the power of creation.
Think it and you create it and in essence this is what someone with a YES YES YES voice does. They think about the best possible outcome all the time. They focis on what they want and it is created, they work, they notice the signs, they sieze opportunities and the universe really does conspire to bring about what is thought about.
Short but sweet tonight.
In love and light
Tracey
Sunday 28 October 2012
Working The Secret
I have re-found the Secret and within a week I have seen how
The Secret works. I made a vision board that is more a reminder of what The
Secret can bring. “Money comes easily and frequently”, “I love going on
fantastic holidays”, “everything I touch turns to gold” these are a few of the
things on my vision board and I have surrounded each phrase with a photo of my
children, husband and I all smiling and all happy, the key to these photos is
that every one of them makes me feel happy because they represent a moment in
time when I was happy and being able to recall that feeling of happiness daily,
changes your mind set, so immediately I am having a great day.
I have been very negative lately, feeling very sorry for
myself and being ungrateful and miserable. On Monday I collected Shiny early
from school and did not feel like doing housework or laundry. So I sat on the
computer, playing scrabble etc. So waiting for someone to make their move, I go
into Youtube and I am randomly searching and I see The Secret full movie, now I’d
never watched the movie, I read the book and listened to the CD, watching it
re-awakened the spark. Hence the vision board. I asked Rob and the kids to read
the vision board everyday. I think then everyday we are starting the day on the
same page. On Wednesday I bought the local paper and looking through the
property section the kids and I found a house that we feel is our dream home.
So I cut it out and put it on the vision board.
My Shiny was a little sceptical until Friday morning when
Rob logs into our South African bank accounts and I have received over R20,000
from a pension claim I put in almost 2 years ago and had completely forgotten
about! Unexpected income!! “Money comes easily and frequently”. Shiny was sitting on the bed and I shouted “Look, Cooks it really works! Money comes easily and frequently!”.
A couple of weeks ago Rob and I had a huge fight over a
table I wanted for the kids to do their homework on. Yesterday I collected an almost
brand new table exactly as I’d imagined that one I wanted. Free!
In one week I have received a table and unexpected income of
around £1200 (depending on the exchange rate). If I were sceptical before, it
is gone, after one week I am a believer, our home environment is better and
everyone is excited that we are going to have a great Christmas because there
is unexpected money, Father Christmas will be delivering amazing presents this
year and hay if Father Christmas is the provider of my children’s dreams, and
they are more able to believe in their dreams coming true then that’s all I
want for them.
In love and light
Tracey
Thursday 13 September 2012
Are Facebook "Happy Birthdays" Genuine?
Hello
I was chatting to a friend today about birthdays seeing as we were wrapping "lucky dip gifts" for the kids coming to our daughters' joint 8th party.
I mentioned that this year that I got so many messages on Facebook and most of the people who posted on my page I haven't seen in years. I hardly respond to their posts, they don't respond to mine and if I am honest (and if they are honest) probably ignore all the little titbits of information that don't make sense to anyone else but themselves.
So the thought occurred to me, are facebook birthday wishes sincere or are people just posting something on your page because a little block in the right hand corner reminds them that it's your birthday?
I am not saying it's a bad thing, I am merely questioning the sincerity of it. Am I being too sensitive here? I saw a quote recently (I probably shared it) that said something about people being in our lives for a specific time and then for whatever reason they are out of our lives. Is is necessary to refriend everyone of your high school classmates? Some of them I don't even remember, and I seriously doubt that anything I did keeps me vividly in their memories.
Don't get me wrong, there are a couple of people from high school with whom I am still friends and there are many of my "adult life friends" I haven't lost touch with, but we communicate in other ways, telephone, texts (SMS's for those in Africa) and those conversations are so much more meaningful.
You will notice here that I have not included family in my rant, and that's where social networking sites are totally awesome, in that I can see exactly what my family are up to and being so far away from them, it keeps them all closer in both my thoughts and my heart.
Anyway, I was pleased to see so many birthday wishes which just proves that whether they were sent sincerely or not, my ego got a great stroking and generally made for good day all round.
In love and light (and sincerity)
Tracey
I was chatting to a friend today about birthdays seeing as we were wrapping "lucky dip gifts" for the kids coming to our daughters' joint 8th party.
I mentioned that this year that I got so many messages on Facebook and most of the people who posted on my page I haven't seen in years. I hardly respond to their posts, they don't respond to mine and if I am honest (and if they are honest) probably ignore all the little titbits of information that don't make sense to anyone else but themselves.
So the thought occurred to me, are facebook birthday wishes sincere or are people just posting something on your page because a little block in the right hand corner reminds them that it's your birthday?
I am not saying it's a bad thing, I am merely questioning the sincerity of it. Am I being too sensitive here? I saw a quote recently (I probably shared it) that said something about people being in our lives for a specific time and then for whatever reason they are out of our lives. Is is necessary to refriend everyone of your high school classmates? Some of them I don't even remember, and I seriously doubt that anything I did keeps me vividly in their memories.
Don't get me wrong, there are a couple of people from high school with whom I am still friends and there are many of my "adult life friends" I haven't lost touch with, but we communicate in other ways, telephone, texts (SMS's for those in Africa) and those conversations are so much more meaningful.
You will notice here that I have not included family in my rant, and that's where social networking sites are totally awesome, in that I can see exactly what my family are up to and being so far away from them, it keeps them all closer in both my thoughts and my heart.
Anyway, I was pleased to see so many birthday wishes which just proves that whether they were sent sincerely or not, my ego got a great stroking and generally made for good day all round.
In love and light (and sincerity)
Tracey
Thursday 6 September 2012
Looking back.
If I am honest, I will admit to not having done much writing on my book. Initially I was very excited and got stuck in. Now, however it's fizzled down to nothing.
With Rob away it seems that there is just so much time, especially after the kids have gone to bed. So for the first time (in a while) I picked up a book and a pen and I started writing.
The writing begins as fiction and then moves swiftly into my memories. Due to a trauma as a child, most of my childhood memories are gone. A psychological safety net if you will. The "amnesia" keeps the subject (i.e Me) from developing serious psycological breakdown.
The problem is however that once the subject starts to remember the trauma, the cause is discovered, technically these are known as repressed memories, no other memories resurface.
So what I remember of my childhood has been the memories of others and photos provide a setting and backdrop to what sort of happened. This is great, yes, BUT the memories are the perceptions of someone else.
Trying to remember, what my life in high school was like was much easier.
I just want everyone to know that being invisible in high school is really easy.
It's sad really because I tried to stay that way. There was a time when I did not wish to be invisible and I did not feel invisible because I believed there was a group I fitted into, alas no, a very candid discussion with those involved reassured me that I did not belong.
I wish I could say that my first broken heart was the result of a careless, selfish teenage boy, but no that honour belongs to a couple of girls.
Thinking back it wasjust another painful event I buried deep inside, another event that has shaped who I am today.
I guess I am just writing for the sake of it now but I also feel I must share that only time after that, that I had a broken heart was when we lost Jonathan.
I know this has been about my pain, (hopefully without pity - that's not why I share it) but was it the pain or was it overcoming the pain that makes me who I am today?
In love and light (and deep contemplation)
Tracey
With Rob away it seems that there is just so much time, especially after the kids have gone to bed. So for the first time (in a while) I picked up a book and a pen and I started writing.
The writing begins as fiction and then moves swiftly into my memories. Due to a trauma as a child, most of my childhood memories are gone. A psychological safety net if you will. The "amnesia" keeps the subject (i.e Me) from developing serious psycological breakdown.
The problem is however that once the subject starts to remember the trauma, the cause is discovered, technically these are known as repressed memories, no other memories resurface.
So what I remember of my childhood has been the memories of others and photos provide a setting and backdrop to what sort of happened. This is great, yes, BUT the memories are the perceptions of someone else.
Trying to remember, what my life in high school was like was much easier.
I just want everyone to know that being invisible in high school is really easy.
It's sad really because I tried to stay that way. There was a time when I did not wish to be invisible and I did not feel invisible because I believed there was a group I fitted into, alas no, a very candid discussion with those involved reassured me that I did not belong.
I wish I could say that my first broken heart was the result of a careless, selfish teenage boy, but no that honour belongs to a couple of girls.
Thinking back it wasjust another painful event I buried deep inside, another event that has shaped who I am today.
I guess I am just writing for the sake of it now but I also feel I must share that only time after that, that I had a broken heart was when we lost Jonathan.
I know this has been about my pain, (hopefully without pity - that's not why I share it) but was it the pain or was it overcoming the pain that makes me who I am today?
In love and light (and deep contemplation)
Tracey
Wednesday 4 July 2012
Changing old habits
Listening to Anthony Robbins I have begun to realise that
there are so many negative patterns in my life. These patterns are continuous and
repetitive and they hold me back. I need to harness the power of being able to
change, I have recently been on a diet and very often feel deprived. I know
that all I have to do is harness the power of being able to change. The feeling
of deprivation is only a negative pattern recurring.
I have the power to change. I have the knowledge to change because I am
not stupid and have read and understood the principles of healthy living.
Being overweight has (to a certain extent) protected me,
from being emotionally hurt, and yet it is also the weight that has been the
cause of many an emotional hurt.
I am making a decision to change my mind set, I need to
develop new neural pathways that eliminate the old negative patterns or bad
habits that I have created. It’s really easy to blame other people but no-one
has ever had to force a piece of chocolate or fatty food into my mouth. I must admit that over the last few days I
have chosen to revert to my old habits. However, I am still unsatisfied in the
longer term, the immediate gratification of the chocolate bar is great but it
is becoming obvious that there is no food which will satisfy my hunger.
Now all I have to do is find out what it is I really
want. Tony says that you have to make a
decision that is solid. So if nothing
else I am making the decision today to do everything I have to, to get to my
perfect weight. I also need to specify exactly what my perfect weight is to be.
I also have to be flexible about how I am going to reach my goal. So I am taking control of my life rather that my life taking control of me.
In love and light.
Tracey
Saturday 16 June 2012
Who are we to judge?
Hi All
Well I have been reasonably busy writing for my book. The response hasn't been great to my request for inspirational stories but you know I've found that my own experiences have a heck of a lot people who have inspired me. However trying not to concentrate only on myself I have a few contributions which will hopefully add some weight to this endeavour.
Anyway I have been doing some research and on Youtube there are videos from people all over the world on any subject you could think of. As you all know I believe in the law of attraction, well youtube has millions of videos from people, celebrities etc.
My blog today is written because you cannot believe how judgmental people, or some people especially those who consider themselves Christians are. The comments that these Christians leave are shameful, they hide behind fake names and literally stand in judgement of other peoples' beliefs. Why do they think this? and Why do they think it's ok to do this?
For the 1st time I am ashamed to consider myself a Christian, I am continually learning and keeping my mind open to anything new. If I'd closed my mind off to ideas that are in conflict with the lessons in the Bible, I would not have learned many of the lessons that have brought me to where I am now. That would be terrible.
I have grown so much from the events in my life. Let's face it if I had believed ONLY in what the Bible tells us, my life would be pretty boring, because although I receive some of the messages I need at church, I can pick up any of my "New Age" books and receive a message often times even more powerful.
Does this make me judgemental or just concerned that we are allowed to be?
In love and light
Tracey
Well I have been reasonably busy writing for my book. The response hasn't been great to my request for inspirational stories but you know I've found that my own experiences have a heck of a lot people who have inspired me. However trying not to concentrate only on myself I have a few contributions which will hopefully add some weight to this endeavour.
Anyway I have been doing some research and on Youtube there are videos from people all over the world on any subject you could think of. As you all know I believe in the law of attraction, well youtube has millions of videos from people, celebrities etc.
My blog today is written because you cannot believe how judgmental people, or some people especially those who consider themselves Christians are. The comments that these Christians leave are shameful, they hide behind fake names and literally stand in judgement of other peoples' beliefs. Why do they think this? and Why do they think it's ok to do this?
For the 1st time I am ashamed to consider myself a Christian, I am continually learning and keeping my mind open to anything new. If I'd closed my mind off to ideas that are in conflict with the lessons in the Bible, I would not have learned many of the lessons that have brought me to where I am now. That would be terrible.
I have grown so much from the events in my life. Let's face it if I had believed ONLY in what the Bible tells us, my life would be pretty boring, because although I receive some of the messages I need at church, I can pick up any of my "New Age" books and receive a message often times even more powerful.
Does this make me judgemental or just concerned that we are allowed to be?
In love and light
Tracey
Friday 25 May 2012
What is my purpose?
Hi All
I saw this quote and I started thinking, (my husband says I think too much). "You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are!" ~Eckhart Tolle
One problem, I do not know what my purpose is, yet.
I know I want to help people but how? I know I want to give back and I do, by helping out at church and working in a school. I have said many times that I wish I had a passion, and if only that passion was linked to my life purpose everything would fall into place.
I have been through so much and a number of very successful people have overcome adversity of some kind and helped thousands of people if not millions. I am reading Jack Canfields Chicken Soup for the Soul and it's full of stories of real people who have inspired others to do, be and have everything they want. It''s an awesome book and well worth the time it takes to read it.
Oh by the way I learnt something recently about myself and it's this. I am not and have never been a failure. What I am is a quitter. When things get tough I quit. I have never stuck with anything long enough to even risk failing. Instead I give up and walk away, it's been easier for me to quit than to risk failing.
The only problem with quitting is you never see the end result. I get really annoyed when celebrity role-models are idolised for drug abuse and other addictions. I always wonder what lessons our children are learning from them. Why then have I allowed my children to witness that I cannot see a project through to the end?
It's the same old double-standard at work isn't it? So today I am quitting for the last time. I am quitting being a quitter. I am going to re-read all my books and listen to all my CD's and I am going to talk the talk and walk the walk of someone who succeeds at whatever she does. I am going to risk failure rather than be a parent who shows her children that when the going gets tough, it's okay to walk away.
Having said that though I must admit my beautiful children are so resilient and have never shied away from a challenge. I know that by breaking this bad habit, I can only be a better parent, and saying that maybe my life purpose is only to ensure these two amazing souls achieve all their dreams and goals. But hey I am not about to quit trying to find out if this my only purpose in life.
So watch this space...
In love and light
Tracey
I saw this quote and I started thinking, (my husband says I think too much). "You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That is how important you are!" ~Eckhart Tolle
One problem, I do not know what my purpose is, yet.
I know I want to help people but how? I know I want to give back and I do, by helping out at church and working in a school. I have said many times that I wish I had a passion, and if only that passion was linked to my life purpose everything would fall into place.
I have been through so much and a number of very successful people have overcome adversity of some kind and helped thousands of people if not millions. I am reading Jack Canfields Chicken Soup for the Soul and it's full of stories of real people who have inspired others to do, be and have everything they want. It''s an awesome book and well worth the time it takes to read it.
Oh by the way I learnt something recently about myself and it's this. I am not and have never been a failure. What I am is a quitter. When things get tough I quit. I have never stuck with anything long enough to even risk failing. Instead I give up and walk away, it's been easier for me to quit than to risk failing.
The only problem with quitting is you never see the end result. I get really annoyed when celebrity role-models are idolised for drug abuse and other addictions. I always wonder what lessons our children are learning from them. Why then have I allowed my children to witness that I cannot see a project through to the end?
It's the same old double-standard at work isn't it? So today I am quitting for the last time. I am quitting being a quitter. I am going to re-read all my books and listen to all my CD's and I am going to talk the talk and walk the walk of someone who succeeds at whatever she does. I am going to risk failure rather than be a parent who shows her children that when the going gets tough, it's okay to walk away.
Having said that though I must admit my beautiful children are so resilient and have never shied away from a challenge. I know that by breaking this bad habit, I can only be a better parent, and saying that maybe my life purpose is only to ensure these two amazing souls achieve all their dreams and goals. But hey I am not about to quit trying to find out if this my only purpose in life.
So watch this space...
In love and light
Tracey
Tuesday 8 May 2012
Let's learn to respond instead of react.
Hi All
Saw this quote on Twitter today it come from Oprah I think as it was from her as no one else was credited with saying it so...
"It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you. " I am a big one for reacting, I'm loud, I scream, I shout and I have been known to completely over-react to a small thing. Often leaving the situation more embarrassed by my reaction than the initial incident.
Ever feel like that?
So the one thing I often meditate on is being able to control my temper, I have to consciously make a decision not to react to a situation. The few times that I have managed to control this instinctive reaction is to think about how I would feel if I was on the other side of my mouth, listening to what's being said.
When you react to a situation it's often an immediate and personal response to the person and not the situation. Learning to respond rather than react is learning how to approach the situation from an objective perspective rather than a personal one.
Once you have had a chance to think about what is being said/ done and why it's being said and done in this manner, you can clearly formulate a response that will not leave you totally an utterly ashamed of yourself.
So if only for the sake of saving yourself loads of embarrassment (as it is for me), it's also actually very rewarding to come up with a reasonable response especially when you think the other person is being totally unreasonable.
Hey just a thought - use it, don't use it. At the end of the day it's about consciously controlling your voice in conjuction with the mind. Rather than your voice in conjuction with your foot.
In love and light
Tracey
Saw this quote on Twitter today it come from Oprah I think as it was from her as no one else was credited with saying it so...
"It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you. " I am a big one for reacting, I'm loud, I scream, I shout and I have been known to completely over-react to a small thing. Often leaving the situation more embarrassed by my reaction than the initial incident.
Ever feel like that?
So the one thing I often meditate on is being able to control my temper, I have to consciously make a decision not to react to a situation. The few times that I have managed to control this instinctive reaction is to think about how I would feel if I was on the other side of my mouth, listening to what's being said.
When you react to a situation it's often an immediate and personal response to the person and not the situation. Learning to respond rather than react is learning how to approach the situation from an objective perspective rather than a personal one.
Once you have had a chance to think about what is being said/ done and why it's being said and done in this manner, you can clearly formulate a response that will not leave you totally an utterly ashamed of yourself.
So if only for the sake of saving yourself loads of embarrassment (as it is for me), it's also actually very rewarding to come up with a reasonable response especially when you think the other person is being totally unreasonable.
Hey just a thought - use it, don't use it. At the end of the day it's about consciously controlling your voice in conjuction with the mind. Rather than your voice in conjuction with your foot.
In love and light
Tracey
Saturday 5 May 2012
Just one day at a time
It's 3.50 am on the 5th of May 2012, on this day 10 years ago Rob and I lost our son. We don't know why. It has been 10 years and every day we take it one day at a time. We have been blessed with 2 more children, but every mother will tell you that each one is loved with all her heart. So even though our lives are full and rewarding, there is always something missing.
When it happened, I did not want to carry on, I could very easily have joined him. However eventually the pain of a broken heart goes away and you get up out of bed, have a bath, have a cry, get dressed and start facing the world. A world that is forever changed because there is such a fundamental part of your being missing.
One day you wake up and it seems that the pain is as fresh as it was on the very day we lost him, yet it's a year later and you have survived. Hey, and life has gone on.
Then one day you wake up and it's 10 years and the pain is fresh and the tears still flow. I know that Jonathan David is experiencing a new journey, he has visited me on occasion and I have had signs that he is with my granny.
I also know that he is waiting for me and I'll tell you why.
Soon after we lost him, I had fallen asleep on the couch in our house in Kensington, I awoke to find him next to me, he was laughing and playing a game of hide and seek, my boy went behind the curtains (I remember they were green with thin yellow and red stripes). Before I could go and find him I regained full consciousness and there he is waiting behind the curtain for me to find him. You see where he is, there is no sense of time as we experience it here. so he will wait a moment for me to find him, but I unfortunately have to wait the rest of my physical life. I have always said that I imagine the transition from this life to the next as being met at the arrivals hall of an international airport, but my transition will begin with a laugh and a smile as I pull the curtain away and grab my child and hold him so close to my heart and in that instant all the pain and all the tears that have shed and will continue to shed for the rest of my life will be forgotten and I will finally be at peace.
AND THAT DEAR FRIENDS IS WHAT I'D CALL HEAVEN.
In love and light.
Tracey
When it happened, I did not want to carry on, I could very easily have joined him. However eventually the pain of a broken heart goes away and you get up out of bed, have a bath, have a cry, get dressed and start facing the world. A world that is forever changed because there is such a fundamental part of your being missing.
One day you wake up and it seems that the pain is as fresh as it was on the very day we lost him, yet it's a year later and you have survived. Hey, and life has gone on.
Then one day you wake up and it's 10 years and the pain is fresh and the tears still flow. I know that Jonathan David is experiencing a new journey, he has visited me on occasion and I have had signs that he is with my granny.
I also know that he is waiting for me and I'll tell you why.
Soon after we lost him, I had fallen asleep on the couch in our house in Kensington, I awoke to find him next to me, he was laughing and playing a game of hide and seek, my boy went behind the curtains (I remember they were green with thin yellow and red stripes). Before I could go and find him I regained full consciousness and there he is waiting behind the curtain for me to find him. You see where he is, there is no sense of time as we experience it here. so he will wait a moment for me to find him, but I unfortunately have to wait the rest of my physical life. I have always said that I imagine the transition from this life to the next as being met at the arrivals hall of an international airport, but my transition will begin with a laugh and a smile as I pull the curtain away and grab my child and hold him so close to my heart and in that instant all the pain and all the tears that have shed and will continue to shed for the rest of my life will be forgotten and I will finally be at peace.
AND THAT DEAR FRIENDS IS WHAT I'D CALL HEAVEN.
In love and light.
Tracey
Thursday 3 May 2012
The way I want to be
Lau Tzu "The way to do is to be."
I saw this quote on Twitter today and it made me think about my life and how I've lived it. The first thought that comes to mind is that I am not passionate about anything and therefore have no true goal. The honest truth is that I have spent my whole life hiding away, being a large person you'd think it's hard to hide but believe me it's easier than you think.
Most people are so hung up on themselves that they fail to notice how they affect anyone else. It's also true to say that the most defining moments of my life have been forged by pain. I could list some of the most pertinent events, but you all know those, because they were the most visible. There are several events that I have failed to share with anyone because they just hurt so much and account for so much of how I've lived my life.
However, I have always tried to be fair and just, I have always tried to think of others before myself and I have always tried to love the way I believe I should be loved.
And that dear friends is what is wrong with my life. So I will no longer try to be fair and just. I AM fair and just. I will no longer try to think of others. I DO think of others, and I have always tried to love, well I DO love deeply and will No Longer think of the pain but of the lessons I have learnt.
Thinking about it now, "tried" is a cop out, you either are or you aren't, does this make me a failure. NO if anything it has opened my eyes to being honest if not with anyone else then with myself. After all I have to live with myself. I have to look at myself in the mirror and when all is said and done I am the only when who has to live with me.
I love my children and am grateful everyday for them. I love my husband and am grateful for his love and support. I have often wondered what he fell in love with, and now I hope I know, and can accept that all the things I've tried to be, he knows I really am.
So to heck with trying and let's raise a toast to DOING.
In love and light
Tracey
I saw this quote on Twitter today and it made me think about my life and how I've lived it. The first thought that comes to mind is that I am not passionate about anything and therefore have no true goal. The honest truth is that I have spent my whole life hiding away, being a large person you'd think it's hard to hide but believe me it's easier than you think.
Most people are so hung up on themselves that they fail to notice how they affect anyone else. It's also true to say that the most defining moments of my life have been forged by pain. I could list some of the most pertinent events, but you all know those, because they were the most visible. There are several events that I have failed to share with anyone because they just hurt so much and account for so much of how I've lived my life.
However, I have always tried to be fair and just, I have always tried to think of others before myself and I have always tried to love the way I believe I should be loved.
And that dear friends is what is wrong with my life. So I will no longer try to be fair and just. I AM fair and just. I will no longer try to think of others. I DO think of others, and I have always tried to love, well I DO love deeply and will No Longer think of the pain but of the lessons I have learnt.
Thinking about it now, "tried" is a cop out, you either are or you aren't, does this make me a failure. NO if anything it has opened my eyes to being honest if not with anyone else then with myself. After all I have to live with myself. I have to look at myself in the mirror and when all is said and done I am the only when who has to live with me.
I love my children and am grateful everyday for them. I love my husband and am grateful for his love and support. I have often wondered what he fell in love with, and now I hope I know, and can accept that all the things I've tried to be, he knows I really am.
So to heck with trying and let's raise a toast to DOING.
In love and light
Tracey
Thursday 12 April 2012
100 Years and Counting
Gosh, I can't tell you how many times I have started writing and then decided that what I had to say sounded rubbish (even to me), anyway living down here in the South of England we have been bombarded by the centenary of the sinking of the Titanic and more importantly her launch from Southampton, and taking a drive to Southampton yesterday with the kids and parking at the now obsolete Maritime museum (as they have moved the exhibition to another site for the centenary). We noticed a huge passenger liner and it looks like a block of flats on the water enormous and awe inspiring but not pretty not at all, but big is what we have come to expect, big and luxurious and isn't that the true legacy of the Titanic.
Kieran asked me the other day why, why was there all this hullabaloo over a boat that sank 100 years ago and the I told him the usual stories, the orchestra playing all the while, the acts of bravery by the stewards and staff, the thousands of passengers found frozen in the icy water. As I related these facts to him I had tears running down my face and as I told him about the orchestra, so did he.
It was amazing to me that my 8 year old son had so much empathy that he cried at possibly the most heroic and legendary of Titanic stories.
On the news people were being interviewed, mostly those with a family connection and since most of the staff were local to Southampton, so many lives were affected by the loss. He asked if we knew anyone and well not personally but my dad's sister Mavis was married to a wonderful man affectionately known as Ginger, aka Felix Fagan and his father apparently was on the Titanic and thanks to being a 1st Class passenger survived.
I have however been thinking and I think there is a song lyric "History repeats itself trying to succeed", and really the only way we can stop these tragedies from happening is to keep them fresh in our minds, it's also why we need to have 18 hours a day on the TV of the atrocities of Nazi Germany and Hitler. The world can never be allowed to forget these past events, because if we do, we allow them to happen again and again. What would the world have been like had Nazi Germany prevailed? Well I probably would not be here.
Anyone with a hint of Jewish blood or a black, brown or yellow skin, would be non-existent, put into death camps and killed or worse - survive. Yet here again my mind is puzzled because are we not programmed to survive? I have studied amazing stories of survivors of the death camps and the power of the mind is so undisputed that some where able to withstand enormous amounts of pain and suffering by simply shutting down their brains, mentally removing themselves from the physical world and overcoming the physical pain of the body, this is something I think I will write about later.
So a toast to all those souls whose voyage to The New World landed them at the Pearly Gates.
In love and light
Tracey
Kieran asked me the other day why, why was there all this hullabaloo over a boat that sank 100 years ago and the I told him the usual stories, the orchestra playing all the while, the acts of bravery by the stewards and staff, the thousands of passengers found frozen in the icy water. As I related these facts to him I had tears running down my face and as I told him about the orchestra, so did he.
It was amazing to me that my 8 year old son had so much empathy that he cried at possibly the most heroic and legendary of Titanic stories.
On the news people were being interviewed, mostly those with a family connection and since most of the staff were local to Southampton, so many lives were affected by the loss. He asked if we knew anyone and well not personally but my dad's sister Mavis was married to a wonderful man affectionately known as Ginger, aka Felix Fagan and his father apparently was on the Titanic and thanks to being a 1st Class passenger survived.
I have however been thinking and I think there is a song lyric "History repeats itself trying to succeed", and really the only way we can stop these tragedies from happening is to keep them fresh in our minds, it's also why we need to have 18 hours a day on the TV of the atrocities of Nazi Germany and Hitler. The world can never be allowed to forget these past events, because if we do, we allow them to happen again and again. What would the world have been like had Nazi Germany prevailed? Well I probably would not be here.
Anyone with a hint of Jewish blood or a black, brown or yellow skin, would be non-existent, put into death camps and killed or worse - survive. Yet here again my mind is puzzled because are we not programmed to survive? I have studied amazing stories of survivors of the death camps and the power of the mind is so undisputed that some where able to withstand enormous amounts of pain and suffering by simply shutting down their brains, mentally removing themselves from the physical world and overcoming the physical pain of the body, this is something I think I will write about later.
So a toast to all those souls whose voyage to The New World landed them at the Pearly Gates.
In love and light
Tracey
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